Tequila Sunrise
by SnoopGirl69
Summary: SEQUEL to: Tequila & Lime With a Grain of Salt - Final story in the "Tequila Series". Callen and Katie move forward in their relationship while Callen tries to acheive a balance with his personal life and work. RATED *M*
1. G is for Grisha

**Tequila Sunrise**

 **A/N:** This is the final story in the "Tequila" series.

Inspiration came from the episode _Seoul Man_ and the quote given by Granger, which Hetty translated:  
 _"After hardship comes happiness."  
_

This story picks up six months after _Tequila & Lime With a Grain of Salt _ended.

 **WARNING: THIS STORY IS RATED *M* FOR LANGUAGE & SEXUAL CONTENT.**

* * *

 **Chapter One – G Is For Grisha**

" _Agent G. Callen_ , are you feeling okay?" The raspy, sinister voice that had haunted him in his head for years was now only a few feet away.

A muffled scream came from the woman Marcel Janvier had bound and gagged in a chair, a noose around her neck. Special Agent G. Callen had encountered many a tricky situations in his career, both professionally and personally, but this was by far the trickiest as no one knew where he and Katie had ventured off to on the Thanksgiving long weekend.

When Callen rubbed the back of his head he felt a large bump. Fogginess of what happened kept him from immediately seeing the image before him. Janvier was strategically positioned in case the younger Callen snapped into reality and decided to lunge at him. Before Callen could get even one of his feet off the ground, the chair Katie was strapped into would be kicked from under her, automatically triggering the rope attached to the noose to be yanked upward.

After Janvier had ordered Katie silent, G finally processed what was happening. When Marcel's face lit up with glee, Callen's adrenaline kicked in. The throbbing pain and slightly blurred vision in his right eye, caused by the blunt object Janvier had used to knock him out, was secondary on his agenda of things to tend to. He did, however, wonder how Janvier had escaped prison and tracked him down on the beach he and Katie strolled on as the sun set on Catalina Island.

Silence engulfed the small room with no windows until he heard his name; barely making it's way beyond the blue rag in her mouth.

 _"Grisha."_

* * *

It had only been three nights since Callen had experienced a surreal nightmare like the one that had just taken place. He knew it had to do with a Christmas card that would soon be arriving any time after Thanksgiving with a postmark from Fremont County, Colorado. Janvier's stay at Guantanamo Bay had been short lived and so with his return to the super max prison came apprehension for Callen and a yearly Christmas card. With the renovations completed and Katie now living with him, it would be more challenging than the previous year to conceal the arrival of Janvier's card.

He allowed his heart rate to slow before getting out of bed and was thankful his live-in girlfriend had learned to sleep through his night and early morning wakings. His body had somewhat adapted to longer hours of sleep since being in a relationship with Katie and those hours of slumber usually entailed sweet dreams or crazy assed ones. But this one was a terrifying, wanting to never go to sleep again, nightmare.

Despite all of the good he now had in his life, Callen struggled with the (still alive) demon he created by shooting Marcel Janvier in the face and not knowing when the man serving three consecutive life sentences would make the next move in their game. He wandered into the living room and in need of a distraction he glanced around for the TV remote. After eyeing it he picked it up, turned on the TV and aimlessly flipped through the channels. CNN's Breaking News caught his attention. He sat in the middle of the couch, kicked his feet up on the coffee table (something Katie hated him doing), leaned back and watched the sadistic state the world unfold.

Callen saw Katie emerge from the hallway just after 4:30am but didn't acknowledge her presence. He wanted to be alone.

"Hey," she said quietly but loud enough for him to hear.

His recently increased night waking was troubling her.

"You want to talk about it?" She asked knowing it was another dream that led him to sitting and then sleeping on the couch in the middle of the night.

He shook his head.

"It can help to talk about it. Dream interpretation is …."

The pressing of the mute button created a thick silence in the room lit only by the screen of the TV and a faint glow from the light above the stove in the kitchen.

"It was a _nightmare_. No matter how it's interpreted, it will still be a fucking nightmare." Just after he pressed the mute button again to hear Anderson Cooper's voice emerge from the screen, he again spoke harshly, "Leave me alone."

She respected Callen's request to be left alone but instead of walking back to their bedroom without saying another word, she told him they would be talking in the morning. He grunted something in return which Katie ignored. She knew he needed help to deal with whatever it was that was troubling him. Although trained in helping children & teens, she could apply her knowledge to an adult situation. She anticipated resistance from him but was more than ready for the challenge.

At 4:45am Callen turned off the TV, pulled a blanket and pillow from the storage ottoman on the other side of the room, settled back on the couch and although it seemed to take forever, fell asleep.

* * *

Four hours later Callen woke, showered and started to prepare Sunday breakfast for him and Katie. Given they both had busy work schedules during the week, and at any moment he could be whisked away for days or weeks at a time, they made a pact to have Sunday breakfast together whenever they were both home.

Callen's thoughts were all over the place as he turned on the kettle after hearing Katie get up. He couldn't tell her about the nightmare and the impending arrival of the unwanted Christmas card but he could tell her about how what he had been struggling with since they moved in together.

As a loner, compartmentalizing feelings had become second nature to him, but since the way he viewed and lived his life had drastically changed, it became more of a struggle to tuck the unpleasant things in the back of his mind and pretend they didn't exist.

"Good morning beautiful," he said as Katie entered the kitchen. He waited until she neared him and then leaned in to give her a kiss on the cheek.

"Good morning. Thanks for preparing this," she said pointing to the stove.

"You're welcome."

The tension from earlier still lingering Callen addressed it immediately, "Let's eat breakfast before we talk, okay?"

Where her eyes met his tired ones, the only response she could give was that of being in agreement. The conversation quickly shifted when Katie mentioned she would like to have a House Warming Party to show off the amazing transformation the renovations had given their home. Callen agreed. He informed her though that Sam would want to take over cooking when he saw the BBQ in their new outdoor kitchen. She smiled and said that would give them both more time with their friends and family.

Katie was a natural planner and organizer when it came to these things but Callen knew it could be a lot of work. "Let me know what I need to do," he said before tending to the food on the stove and serving it.

* * *

Having showered earlier, Callen offered to clean up while Katie showered and dressed. He was finished before she was ready so he sat in his (new) favourite chair and prepared himself for what he was about to tell Katie. Just as he was mentally rehearsing his words Katie came into the living room and sat in the chair beside him.

"I'm sorry you had a nightmare. However bad it was, it might help to talk about it."

"Well that's getting to the point," he stated as he shifted his hips to get more comfortable as the conversation was going to take a while.

Her innocence that he envied also made him want to scream at the top of his lungs. He reminded himself (again) that Katie could _never_ now about Marcel Janvier and his obsession with the NICS Special Agent and destroying all Callen loved.

"I'm not going to talk about it Katie. _Ever_." He lifted his head to look her in the eyes. "I've been thinking a lot lately."

"About what?"

"Everything."

"That's a lot to think about."

"Yeah, it is."

It had only been a few minutes since they sat down and already Callen was fidgeting with his watch. Sensing it might be more comfortable for both of them, she stood and gestured to the couch. After getting comfortable Katie reached out and took his hand in hers. The heat of his skin against hers was akin to two sticks rubbing together to make a fire. But just before any sparks could ignite, he parted their hands.

"Remember when I told you I met my father, even though he didn't actually say he was my father?"

Katie nodded and remembered the conversation vividly. "And you learned what the G stands for."

"No one has called me Grisha."

"You said you didn't mind if people still called you G or Callen," Katie intervened.

"I know what I said," he responded sarcastically.

Katie's eyes darted to his conveying a silent message that she didn't appreciate his tone.

He took heed to her response. "I've spent my life wanting answers and now that I have the one answer I thought would bring me the most peace, I don't feel peaceful."

Katie had seen Callen frustrated but that morning he had taken it to a whole new level.

"We had a case three weeks ago where Sam and I had to talk a twelve year old boy out of …." He paused, the sickening reality of what happened that day reassuring him that he wasn't crazy for the thoughts he had been having.

"What happened?" Katie asked as she placed her hand on his knee to help keep him from bouncing it nervously.

He looked up at her, tears welling in his eyes, "He had be chosen to be a suicide bomber."

That had been "the straw that broke the camel's back" after years of keeping his vast knowledge of unwanted things in the back of his mind. Since he met Katie those thoughts had been coming closer to the forefront of his mind, simmering as he struggled to find a balance between work and life with her. As with all things simmering in a pot, they come to a boil unless the pot is removed from the heat.

Katie's love for children paralleled Callen's and it only took a moment before she too had moist eyes. She knew he faced some harsh criminals in his job but _children being suicide bombers_? The pit of her stomach tightened.

"Nadir was his name." Katie re-clasped her hand over his as he continued, "We had lots of time to talk while the bomb squad did their thing. Then when we were back at the boat .." His sudden halt perked Katie's curiosity.

"The boat, _what_?"

"The boat shed. The place where we do our interrogations." He didn't wait for reply. "When we were back at the boat shed and Nadir was reunited with the family that he had been separated from at birth, he said that I was right in saying he would find people he felt safe with in his life. Earlier that day when I was trying to calm him down for the bomb squad to disarm the bomb, I told him I know what it's like to be scared as a kid. I also told him about not knowing my first name until recently." A few tears streamed down his face as he remembered with bitter sweetness his conversation with Nadir.

Katie listened with her usual compassion. "Just as I was leaving the room to give him some time with his family, he told me that for the first time in his life he felt safe. I reassured him that his family would always keep him safe." Callen hesitated a moment and cleared his throat. "Nadir said that it wasn't his family he was talking about. It was me. He felt safe with _me_. _No one_ has ever _said_ that to me."

Katie had thought many times how safe she felt with him but had never told him. She wanted to _tell_ him at that moment but he was on a roll and continued before she had a chance to.

"Then he asked me what my name was. I told him but also said that no one ever calls me that. He looked up at me with his beautiful, big brown eyes that were no longer etched with fear and said, _Thank you for making me feel safe, Grisha_." When he said my name, I lost it. I left the room very quickly, walked out on to the dock and given there were people around I refrained from screaming. Instead I lowered my head and watched as the tears fell from my face into the waves crashing against the dock."

Katie pulled him into a hug, comforting his as the insecurities and vulnerabilities he kept well hidden from the rest of the world, surfaced into the arms of the only person he comfortable exposing them to. Katie comforted him until he leaned back and regained his composure.

"I'm sorry," he managed to voice.

"You don't have anything to be sorry about."

He nodded as he peered into her compassionate eyes, "I can't do this anymore. It's not fair to you. It's not fair to me."

"Do what?" Katie had been on the same wavelength as her boyfriend, until that moment.

"Do my job _and_ be in a relationship with you."

Katie's body froze unsure of where this was going.

"The idea of retirement has been lurking in my mind the past few months."

Katie was not expecting him to say _that_! Her ridged body relaxed and her off handed nervous laugh surprised Callen. "Retirement? You're _only_ thirty-eight."

"I'd retire from being a Field Agent, not _actually retire._ " His sincerity was prominent.

"And do what?" Katie asked. She still didn't like that he was doing such a risk job but she had followed through on adapting to life with him because she knew how much his job meant to him. The Special Agent though, had grown somewhat despondent about the amount of time his work took him away from her.

Her question startled him as he thought she would have jumped up with joy.

"Callen, your work is a part of you, part of the man I love. You wouldn't be happy." And before he could interrupt her, she added, "And that would make _me_ unhappy."

"I didn't think I could give it up but now, I think that is the only thing I can do."

He felt he was being rational given he knew more than Katie did about why he wanted to find a less stressful and dangerous job.

Katie could sense he was focused and had given this a lot of thought. "Callen, thinking about finding another job and actually doing it aren't the same thing."

"You wanted me to give it up before."

"I am going to ignore that _Special Agent G. Callen_." If those words had been bullets, he would have had, he quickly counted them, _ten_ new holes in him.

He leaned back into the soft cushions, and pinched the bridge of his nose before turning back to face her, "You've been so patient and understanding. What happens if, _you know_?"

They were committed to each other forever and always however, they were both human and therefore, underlying unpredictability would always be there.

"I think I have been doing very well at adapting to your work schedule."

His body filled with that detesting guilt he couldn't completely shake when it came to counting the time his job took him away from her, "Katie…"

Katie shifted her body with agitation knowing he needed some one more qualified to talk through this with, "I don't think I'm the only one you should be talking to about this."

He glared with intensity at her, "You think I need to see a shrink? _Won't happen_ ," he mumbled.

There was only one person he was allowed to talk with about the sensitive information he had stashed away in his head. However, he wasn't going to confide in a man, he once respected, who tortured him to protect an undercover identity. Actually there were two people he could talk to but he had lost all respect and trust for Hetty Lange when he clued in that it had been her who had given Nate the information on him that aided in the psychologist's torturing of him.

G. Callen could be a man of many or little words but by speaking those two words with an abruptness Katie rarely heard, she knew this wasn't him being stubborn about not wanting to talk to the psychologist he had mentioned seeing in the past.


	2. REVISED Hardship Before Happiness

**Chapter 2 – Hardship Before Happiness *REVISION***

 **A/N:** Some revisions were made to this chapter to help it flow better with next chapter. It's been a while since I've posted so a re-read might be good.

* * *

"I know what it's like to possess sensitive, unwanted knowledge." Callen's face, now buried in his hands, surfaced as she continued. "I know that whatever you tell me about your job and past, stays with me." Katie needed to connect with Callen in a way that would allow him to tell her what was bothering him.

His eyes widened _._ "I trust you Katie. I've _never_ doubted that."

"And I trust you Callen."

Scratching the stubble on his chin, he pondered the subliminal message she was trying to get across. "You think there's more going on than just my decision to retire from being a Field Agent."

She moved to crouch in front of him.

"Am I right?"

He nodded.

"And if I were to guess that it has something to do with a _specific_ incident and person, would I also be right?" Her perception was on target. "But you're not ready to talk about it." Katie moved back to sit beside him.

"I've put my name in for consideration for Hetty's job as she's retiring at the end of the year." Callen knew he would eventually have to talk to Katie about _why_ he was contemplating severing his personal relationship with Hetty. And as for why he won't ever again talk to a 'shrink', he was dreading that even more.

Katie respected his temporary avoidance of her observation as she had become accustomed to him steering conversations away from topics that exposed his vulnerabilities and compartmentalized feelings. Eventually, though, he would find his way back to the abandoned conversations. With her inadvertent persistence over time, he gradually realized that he no longer _had_ to compartmentalize _everything_ and that tension brewed between the couple when he didn't talk to her about what was troubling him.

"Assistant Director Granger asked me if I was interested in taking over as Operations Manager and I told him I was." Callen welcomed the return of Katie's presence beside him. "I can keep my personal life from affecting my work but I'm not doing so well with keeping my work from affecting my personal life. This new position would still be demanding on my time but aside from the six weeks of Management Training in Virginia, I wouldn't be away for extended periods of time. And the pay would be almost double what I am making now. " He had given this _a lot_ of thought.

"I like that. The part of you not being away for extended periods of time." They didn't _need_ the extra money but it would be nice to have it if they decided she not to return to work after they started a family. "But you would still have late nights."

"Only when the bad guys won't cooperate."

Katie's eye roll and one sided smile indicated she appreciated his ability to find the positive in a job that was centered around criminals.

"So no field work?"

"No. But I would provide backup if needed."

"What does Sam think of this career move?" she asked.

Callen's gaze diverted from hers.

"You haven't told him?"

"I haven't been _offered_ the job."

"Would you have talked to _me_ before you made your decision? I mean, had I not insisted we _talk_ today?"

Callen was miffed by her accusation. "You know I wouldn't make this kind of decision without talking to you first. I was waiting until after I met with Granger this week. Although Sam is my partner, best friend and one of the most objective people I know, I couldn't have his personal feelings affecting my decision."

Katie's emotions were running high dealing with the busiest time of the year at work and now Callen amid a major job change. Katie had always found her way through the tough and chaotic times in her life but life with a Special Agent tested that ability with situations unlike any she had ever encountered-or imagined happening in her life.

"When will you know if you get the job?" She snuggled into him after he gestured for her to do so.

"Not sure."

"Won't the team miss you in the field? And you would be their boss. That could be _awkward_."

"They'll see me every day and as team leader I have already asserted an authoritative position within the team."

"I have to say that I admire your confidence about this." He sensed one of her notorious 'buts' coming.

" _But_ you know the saying, 'Don't count your chickens before they hatch." She could sense he was quite confident that the job was 'in the bag' or would that be 'in the basket'?

Callen knew there was a possibility that someone else could come along and get the job but he was steadfastly sticking to the scenario he had in his mind that Granger was looking close to home for Hetty's replacement. Callen positioned his body so Katie could see his eyes.

"I know the difference between confidence and arrogance. And to know when I have crossed the line."

There were a few moments of silence before he continued.

"Listen, I know I will miss being a Field Agent but I know I miss being apart from you even more." He was on a mission to _live_ the life he had spent the past three decades dreaming about. "I spent my childhood dreaming of being part of a family and then as I got older, I longed to find someone to have my own family with. Not once did I ever _dream_ of being a Federal Agent. That was Hetty's vision when she took me into her care when I was fifteen. My job is just that, _a job_. Yes, it's a big part of who I am but it's not all I am, nor is it all I want to be."

Katie was all but consumed by his heartfelt words and after a firm squeeze of his hand to reassure him she was with him all the way in this endeavor, he continued.

"This job will literally consume you if you allow it to. I _need_ to make a change. I know there is a possibility it won't work out but I must try. And that includes keeping hope that Granger will see I _am_ the best person for the job."

His words hit Katie hard as a wave of relief surged through her. Living day to day, not knowing if she would get a visit from someone on the team to tell her he wasn't ever coming home, was a subconscious stress that constantly filled her life. It was imperative he not only _tell_ Katie, but _show_ her, that she _is_ his number one priority. He cupped her face with his hand and then brushed his thumb across her cheek. "You're my everything Kates. My new past, my present and my future. I can't give you what I want to give you and what you deserve, being a Field Agent."

She stroked the area under his right ear, an action that always hitched his breath and then verbalized what her earlier hand squeeze meant, "I support you no matter the outcome. I do, _very much_ _so_ , like the fact that you won't be dodging bullets daily. And that I won't be worrying, _as much_ , _if_ you will be coming home."

Leaning in for a kiss, Callen's breath mingled with hers before meeting in a deep, passionate kiss that let her know he wasn't avoiding finishing the conversation but that it could wait as he wasn't quite ready to voice the other things he had to say.

Katie felt she still needed to say the words when Callen broke from her lips and took to kissing her neck, "We still have so much more to talk about."

He moaned in understanding with "Always so much to talk about," before he stood and attempted to pull her to her feet. "Bedroom."

Katie shook her head. "Here," she stated as she bit her lower lip.

He took a moment to view the come-hither look on her face before kneeling on the cushion beside her, laying her down and appreciating the sunlight streaming through the window that accentuated her physical beauty.

It had been thirteen days since they had been physically intimate due to Callen's current life issues and it showed in the intensiveness of their actions. Katie's nails gripped her lover's shirt before pulling it over his head, her fingers then sinking into his back as he ground his covered erection into her thigh. The couch was great for making out but he preferred their bed for love making. And he wanted to give her _everything_ he had that Autumn afternoon. While he contemplated picking her up and carrying her to the bedroom, Katie pushed him off her so she could remove her clothes. His thoughts then quickly shifted as a naked Katie stood before him, her stance saying what she wanted. She reached behind him, her breast brushing over his cheek, but not before his mouth jutted out to quickly cover her nipple, and pulled a cushion out from behind him. He sat upright but Katie shook her head. As she dropped the pillow to the ground and knelt before him, Callen slid down on the couch cushion, now fully aware of her intentions. Although he had wanted to assert his alpha male characteristic and ravish her into the late afternoon, the sound of his zipper slowly being undone made the transition into submissiveness _very_ easy for him.

* * *

"This is what I want," Callen said as Katie's head lay upon his chest, her fingers caressing the skin around his scars, slight smiles adorning both their faces, and both parties thankful that they had eventually made their way to the bedroom.

"Sex on Sunday's?"

"Happiness," he said as he moved to face her. "A comment was made a few weeks ago at work that life is about hardship before happiness. I know I can't predict the future but I feel I have faced more than enough hardships in my almost thirty-nine years on Earth. I'm ready for the happiness."

Had Katie been insecure about herself or their relationship, she could have taken offense to his comment and interpreted it as though he wasn't happy. When his sensitivities – most of his life was sensitive in nature - and vulnerabilities were exposed, she worked through them with him. Sometimes by offering advice. Sometimes with sex. But mostly by allowing him to talk and her listening. He had opened up more since their cohabitation began and the ease in which the words flowed were both welcomed and surprising to Katie. It was still baby steps for Callen in revealing some of the darkest parts of his life with the woman he loved but he did it. His current mood and the look in his eyes were that of sadness and as the words came out of his mouth he felt as though he were hearing someone else say them. And how his wished that were true. He would never be accustomed to _her_ tears and the sadness her own eyes conveyed when he recalled the dark parts of his life.

And then the word _torture_ stung Katie's ears.

"I don't trust her," Callen admitted as Katie pulled the blanket over them, the recollection of his time being tortured by a colleague caused a chill to move down her spine. "And Nate, well, I know he wanted to prove himself as an Agent but …" The moments of when he was convinced his number was up fluttered through his mind. "In those moments I knew Hetty had betrayed me because she was the only one who could have given him that information. That was difficult to take but thinking I would never see you again was unbearable - and all because of her. I won't forgive her for that." He paused a moment and wiped away the few tears that had made their way to his cheeks. "She never cared about me. She only cared about easing her own guilt for not protecting my mother. She was more aware than anyone of my lack of trust in people. How ironic is that?" Katie shivered again as she felt the sarcasm laced words penetrate her ears. He took a moment to search his inner being to express his true feelings about what happened with Hetty and Nate. It was time he said it to someone. "Her blatant betrayal of my trust in her was _soul crushing_."

Callen had never told Katie _how_ his mother died and Katie had never asked. As Callen recalled what he remembered and was told (by Hetty) about his mother's death, Katie felt as though it was surreal, even for his life. Katie then responded with the revelation of how her own mother had died. She was a nurse in the ER and had just arrived for her night shift. Twenty minutes later as she was passing an instrument tray to a doctor, she collapsed on the floor due to a ruptured brain aneurysm. No symptoms or warnings. Katie now understood why Callen hadn't told her about how his mother died and why he hadn't asked about her mother's death - she would have asked about his. And there was _never_ a good time to tell her that his mother was the victim of long lasting blood feud. Katie saw how difficult it was for him to talk about it so she veered the subject back to the current source of upset in his life.

"Does Hetty know how you feel?"

His facial expression was answer enough. _No_

"There's not much point as I know she will try to make excuses for what she did. From my stance, she could have found another way to keep Nate's cover protected _and_ save me the …" The 'T' word wouldn't come out a second time.

"I'm glad that you don't plan on telling her how you feel. Telling an elderly woman, one who took you in when you were at very low point in your young life, that you wished you had never met her, would be mean... _and cruel._ "

Many a times he had thought of telling Hetty his deepest and often dark thoughts about her but had refrained because despite them, he had never lost sight of that fact that had Hetty not intervened that potentially fatefully day many years ago, he knows he would not be on the right side of the law.

And like clockwork, Callen spoke the words, "I'd like to talk about something else."

Some people would say he was over reacting about his feelings towards Hetty and how she handled the situation with Nate, but it wasn't them who had been water boarded and verbally assaulted with sensitive, personal, and highly classified information. It was time to change the topic of conversation.

"Let's have a Christmas Open House slash House Warming Party." His voice was enthusiastic which helped quickly turn the mood into a happier one for them both. "And then we could take that vacation we have been talking about. Timing would be good as we both have two weeks of vacation time over Christmas and New Year's.

Katie moved to face him straight on, "Are you serious?" She wasn't blind to his blatant change of topic but was delighted in the topic he had chosen.

" _Very_."

"I love the idea of combining them!" Katie's love of planning and list making quickly went into action. "Thanksgiving at Sam's, party two weeks later, Christmas dinner with Mike's family. And _then"_ ... Her eyes lit up. "T _wo-week_ vacation with my favourite guy."

Callen couldn't help but smile at Katie's reaction. "So, where should we go?" he asked, trying to pretend he had forgotten the discussions on where their much-needed vacation would eventually be.

Katie didn't pick up on his fake reaction as she was caught up in her mental list making. She thrived on challenges and the next two months would be full of those in terms of getting things organized and in action in both her work and personal lives. Although Callen would still be doing his current job she knew he would be by her side, whenever possible, pitching in with whatever needed to be done.

She looked at him and practically shouted, "Are you kidding me?"

His absent smirk made it difficult for Katie to catch on to his playfulness. Immediately after she said Aruba, his crooked smile appeared.

Without another word, she rolled him to his back, pinning his hands over his head.

"You're a sassy man G. Callen. And you're lucky it's one of the many things I love about you." She was torn between wiping that grin off his face with a sexual favour and don't the things that needed to be done before Monday morning. "If we didn't have things that _must_ get done today, I would give you a preview of what you can expect during _siestas_ on our vacation."

Siestas were usually for rest but Callen knew that's not what Katie had in mind. He grabbed her hips, "I can give you a preview and it will only take _five_ _minutes_."

His set jaw, smoldering blue eyes and budding erection had her interested. _Five minutes_. It would be fast and intense. The coiling tension between her legs brewed. All thoughts of her to-do-lists were gone and even though she knew he could take her to ecstasy and beyond in his announced time frame, she wanted some foreplay. And it _looked_ like he would require some as well before he could begin his preview.

"How exactly do you plan to achieve that?" she asked.

"Are you questioning my ability to perform?"

" _No_." She straightened her back and shifted her hips which caused his hands to fall from them. The gyrating of her hips had him getting him closer to full arousal. Although they had had sex more than once in a day, this was the first time the act was so close together. It was easier for her to be ready than him so she chose her words carefully-although a challenged G. Callen had proven to be a very hot and sexy version of the blue eyed Federal Agent. "I'm just curious as to _how_ you are going to achieve that task in _five minutes_."

 _Perhaps a revelation would help,_ she thought.

She leaned down, her lips brushing over his ear as she spoke.

"I had a dream last night. Well more like a fantasy crept into my subconscious." He stilled her hips as she continued. "You couldn't wait until we got home. Check in at the hotel took longer than our _stay."_

Her hot breath couple with image she had presented him - and he was _almost_ there. He hadn't had a dream about that but the thought had crossed his mind more than once. There was something alluring about unplanned sex in a hotel-and leaving right after.

"You don't approve?"

He pulled her down and kissed her hard.

"I approve," he groaned into her lips as he lifted his hips off the mattress before he flipped her over, pushed her knees up against her chest and covered her mouth with his. G. Callen wasted no more precious time in showing Katie that he was (still) a man of his word. Katie's wordless noises fueled Callen's thrusts as heart rates increased, skin meshed together, bodies sweated and mutual love was silently proclaimed - all in _five minutes._

* * *

 _"_ As much as I would love to stay in bed with you for the rest of the day, things _need_ to get done," Katie voiced as she glanced at the beside clock.

He nodded in agreement.

Callen was very much looking forward to two weeks of vacation (and siestas) with Katie. No bad guys. No guns. No bullets. As he watched Katie get dressed another pivotal moment occurred. Katie Mitchel was, without any doubt, the woman he wanted to go to bed with, wake up with, be with and think about in the hours in between—for the rest of his life.

He then got dressed and met Katie in the kitchen where they divided up the tasks that needed to be done. After kissing him and reminding him to check the dates on dairy products, he took the list and headed out to his car.

As he drove the familiar route to the grocery store the confidence that the decision to take the promotion (once it was offered to him) was the right one, wavered. How many candidates could there be for a position like Hetty's? He felt a twinge of nerves in his stomach when he thought about Lauren Hunter who had appeared out of nowhere upon Hetty's last (failed) attempt at retiring. There wasn't any doubt about Hetty retiring this time but there was some doubt creeping inside him that he wouldn't be the last one standing after all other potential candidates were weeded out.

Callen wasn't naive in thinking it would be _easy_ to make the decisions that Hetty had all those years but as Team Leader he had gained a great deal of leadership experience. One of the cons of the new job would be reporting to Granger. An audible laugh came about as he remembered the many times Hetty had ignored her boss. He wondered if The Assistant Director would have him on a short leash or would the grizzled veteran trust his instincts on the respect he had learned to have for the team and the way they did things?

As he pulled into the parking lot he attempted to turn off work thoughts, checked that the list was still in his wallet and made his way into the store. Katie would be waiting for him to return so she could make her lunch for work. The Special Agent envied her for having a scheduled lunch every day. She had encouraged him to take a lunch but that lasted five days when he returned home with all the food uneaten. He told her that the bad guys of Los Angeles didn't care if he had eaten his fruit and vegetable quota for the day.

The bright lights of stores never appealed to Callen but as he walked up the cereal aisle he was distracted from the brightness by more thoughts of his boss, and once guardian, when he eyed a box of the sugar-coated cereal he had only been allowed to have on weekends while living with Hetty. As he made his way to the section that housed Katie's favourite teas, a memory of his young adult life in University was triggered. Care packages would arrive at his dorm room with his favourite cereal, snacks and _Hetty's_ favourite teas with a short note updating him on the happenings back home. Life with Hetty wasn't perfect but she did the best she knew how to give him the home and stability he needed.

He stood there for several minutes replaying the earlier conversation with Katie in his head. If heads could spontaneously explode he was certain his was going to with everything flowing through it. Although he would never tell Hetty he wished she had never come into his life, and that it would be mean and cruel to tell her so, he couldn't let go of her blatant betrayal for the sake of the mission. His plan was to just avoid her unless absolutely necessary after she retired. He wouldn't see her at work anymore and she really wasn't a big part of his personal life outside of the office, so avoidance would work well.

He passed on the cereal but stocked up on Katie's favourite tea as it was on sale. Callen had never checked prices on any of the (few) items he bought at the grocery store – until he met Katie. She was conscientious when it came to spending money, something Callen could relate to very well. Despite the renovations costing more than anticipated, the end results were beyond their expectations and Callen wasn't willing to put a price on their life together. After paying for the groceries he loaded up the Jag and then headed home. _Home._ Knowing someone would be there when he opened the door it sent his stomach fluttering.

Sam had teased him about being domesticated despite being 'raised by wolves' but deep down Callen knew Sam admired him for taking his life in a direction neither of them had thought probable since they had gotten to know of each others personal lives. Even through their rough times Callen _never_ forgot how fortunate he was to have Kathryn Mitchell in his life. By the time the blond haired, blue eyed boy had reached his first double digit birthday, he had started to question if he was a person worthy of being loved. Years later Hetty showed him he was. Then Sam invited him into his family with the Hanna women taking immediately to his charm and loyalty. But it was Kathryn Mitchell, the intelligent, compassionate, independent blue-eyed beauty who found her way into the depths of his heart.

The feeling he had in his gut as he carried the groceries inside wasn't about being in love but a feeling of anxiousness. Katie was a modern-day woman but (some) traditional values were deeply embedded in her. And that meant it was up to Callen to make the move towards the next step in their relationship. But that would have to wait until after it was decided whether or not he would be then next Operations Manager.


	3. K is For Kathryn

**A/N:** It's been a while...here's the next chapter. I revised Chapter 2 and since it's been a while, you may want to read the revision.

* * *

 **Chapter 3 - K is for Kathryn**

"Thank you", Callen announced as he put the last of the groceries away while Katie cut the fruits and vegetables.

"For what?" she asked not taking her eyes off the large knife she was using to chop the lettuce.

He tossed the reusable grocery bags on the table, grabbed a few carrots and stepped towards her. She placed the knife on the counter after taking a quick glimpse of the pensive look on his face.

"For being a great listener."

Katie wiped her hands on the dish towel before turning to place her forearms on his shoulders.

His head fell forward and shook it before looking up at her, "Some days it gets overwhelming when feelings I have tried to repress or just ignore, surface. And I hate having yet another issue in my life to resolve."

"Lucky for you that I am an excellent problem resolver," she said with a joking tone in hopes of lightening him up.

Callen didn't find it amusing and the tell-tale look on his face had her switching to a more serious mood. She took a few steps back before speaking, "For some people it's a life long journey to understand and attempt to resolve things from their past. And if I may be so bold, I think the sooner you accept that you are one of those people, the less ..." She took a moment to find just the right word. _Moody. Uptight._ And then it came to her, "restless you'll be."

He didn't like _hearing_ that he was destined to spend the rest of his life dealing with the crappy hand dealt him after his mother died. As always, he appreciated Katie's candour but _this_ self-pity party was far from over.

"You have been so patient and understanding about everything, especially when my job has interfered with our lives." He had lost count of how many times he had said that to his girlfriend. "I missed that charity event you were counting on me to participate in." That wasn't an apology but surly the dozen before it, were.

Katie was somewhat surprised he had brought up _that_ subject _again_ as she thought she had gotten through to the handsome, but often stubborn, man she lived with the last time he apologized. Still standing face to face, Katie made her final attempt at reassuring Callen that everything worked out well despite his absence.

"I didn't feel it was necessary to tell you this but if it will get you to forget about it and move on then I will tell you. Your replacement generated the _most_ money of all the participants." She waited and got the reaction she had anticipated.

Callen's eyes widened. She had said the night had been successful and that his replacement did well but what he had just heard, truly surprised him. "Eric? _Beale_?"

"I guess Tech Geeks are the hot commodity now," she quipped, relieved that his mood was changing.

Callen had dreaded the idea of being auctioned off and spending the evening with his highest bidder but was willing to do it for Katie and the local woman's shelter she and Taryn were raising money for. Too many children went through shelters with their mothers. When a last-minute assignment took him and Sam to San Diego he felt bad for letting Katie down. Always one to try and find a solution to a problem, she asked him for the number of _anyone_ he could think of who might do it. Knowledge of Eric and Nell's work for charities had Callen giving Katie Eric's number.

"So, my still somewhat boyish good looks and irresistible charm aren't?"

Katie knew he was joking but her response was anything but a joke. As she stepped back and eyed him from head to toe she replied with a slight moan, "There isn't anything boyish about you G. Callen. You're _all_ man."

Even Katie's compliment couldn't keep him from dwelling.

"You really think I'm restless?" he asked as he started to wash the food she had cut up.

She nodded but didn't look up as she cut the stem off the head of broccoli.

Katie wanted to finish what she was doing but she also knew Callen required her undivided attention. She pulled out a chair and gestured for him to do the same.

"I did some thinking while you were at the store." Callen's rounded shoulders pulled back as he listened carefully to his girlfriend's words. "Are you sure you want to replace Hetty?"

"No one will ever replace Henrietta Lange," Callen said with the utmost of confidence. He hadn't thought of it as _replacing_ Hetty.

He pushed his chair closer to her and pressed his forehead onto hers. "I love that you are in my life." Their eyes closed for a moment and were kept closed as Callen initiated a kiss that was intended to be a brief avoidance from talking about his work.

After several minutes of an almost knee buckling kiss, Katie pulled back and got their conversation back on track. Their kisses were never to be underestimated for silently voicing their thoughts and feelings but often, words were needed to put the (much) earlier topic to final rest.

"From what you have told me about Nate and the situation, I'm thinking Hetty chose you because she knew you were capable of getting yourself _and_ Nate out alive and in one piece."

"So you're okay with her pre-planning my torture?"

"Of course not. You weren't injured or ...have any physicals scars from it."

Callen's felt his face go warm. Then hot. Instead of saying _Are you fucking kidding me?_ his mouth sputtered a response he knew he shouldn't have said.

"Would you like me to water board _you?_ The scars aren't physical, that's the purpose of it. But the emotional ones stay with you." He leaned closer to her over the table. "Especially when it's someone you know." He leaned back feigning cockiness but he was nervous as hell about where this conversation was going. "Someone you trust".

His words hit Katie like a hammer. She knew he could _kill_ with his hands but now she had to acknowledge that he could also use those hands for torture. Even though her only knowledge of torture was from watching movies, Callen was the real-life Agent who would need to go that route if it meant catching the bad guy and saving lives. Those thoughts sent a chill throughout her body. The deafening silence was broken by the sound of Callen's phone and he ignored it for several moments before reluctantly grabbing it from his jacket he had put on the chair beside him.

"Hey Sam," Callen said after seeing his partner's name on the screen.

"Am I interrupting something?" he asked given it took Callen several rings to answer.

"What's up?" he replied, ignoring Sam's question.

"I can take a hint," Sam replied. "Pick you up at 8:30 tomorrow?"

"Sure."

"Okay, see you tomorrow."

The phone was tossed to the table and the tension still very much present between the couple as their eyes met.

"I shouldn't say things like that to you, Katie."

"No, you shouldn't. But I get it. That's is your way of venting your frustrations and I must admit, convey your point quite well. You trust me, trust us, enough to go there knowing I won't take it to heart." It was moments like this that Callen wondered how he could ever love her more than he did. Then she would say something like _that_ and he had his answer.

* * *

 _"_ What do we need our lap tops for?" he asked after Katie suggested he take them out on the deck before cooking burgers for dinner on the BBQ. He didn't want to watch a movie but then he heard the words _party_ and _vacation_.

"We need to start planning for our party and vacation."

Callen brought them out from the bedroom they had turned into a home office and placed them on the patio table while the BBQ heated up. Enjoying their new deck was a new-found love for the couple. As he got things ready, he couldn't help but smile at the way he and Katie had adjusted to living together. Sure, they both had quirks the other didn't like but overall they got along very well. Busy work schedules and Callen's dangerous job made them truly appreciate the time they were home together.

Katie finished up in the kitchen then went about getting her things ready for the morning. She couldn't help but envy Callen and his minimalist ways, especially when it came to getting ready for work. As she put the shoes she would wear the next day by the front door she saw his khaki coloured gym bag on the floor that he kept to the right of the door. Katie had bugged him about it when they first started living together as she hated the sight of it 'all the time'. Then one day Callen spoke up and told her that he didn't leave it there because he was lazy or didn't care what she thought but because it gave him a sense of reassurance before going to work. If it was there in the morning, he believed it would go back there in the evening. And so on. There would be no argument from her since putting it there meant he had come home.

* * *

Picking out the resort they would stay at for two glorious weeks and making the guest list for their House Warming/Christmas Open House party was a great distraction for Callen who was trying not to let the recent talk about Hetty and Nate get to him. They enjoyed their hot burgers and cold drinks as the sun made its descent from the sky.

First, they tackled the guest list and what they would serve to those guests. They agreed to a small Christmas tree and simple decorations around the house since they were going to Mike's for dinner on the 25th and then on vacation a few days later. It was also agreed that only those closest to them would be invited and even though Callen didn't mention Hetty's name, Katie scrolled down and added her to the list very well aware of Callen's ambivalent feelings for the older woman. When she saw his eyes look over at the screen, she waited for him to say something but he didn't. Her name stayed.

Including them, twenty-one people were on the list. The menu would be causal with food cooked on the BBQ as they were anticipating the weather to be suitable for entertaining outside but if not, the BBQ section of the deck had an overhang. A Facebook invitation and verbal invites weren't how Katie preferred to do invitations but that seemed to be the new 'norm' in her social circle.

Katie had done some preliminary searches for resorts after Aruba was first mentioned for their vacation destination, so all they had to do was narrow it down and pick one of the three she liked. _Riu Palace Antillas_ caught and held their attention with the main selling feature being _Adults Only._ As they continue to read about what the resort offered, it was only a matter of minutes before they agreed that they would splurge and get the _Ocean View Junior Suite_ on the first floor. When Katie asked if they should book it now, Callen agreed before going inside to get his credit card.

"You fill in the information," he said as he handed the card to her. "I'm getting another drink. You want one?"

"Water please."

* * *

Katie was feeling amorous as Callen turned the lights off and locked up. The passionate look in her eyes wasn't missed as he crawled in beside her. She wasn't looking for a love making marathon and that suited him just fine. He was emotionally tired but Katie didn't require him to use his mind at that point. His hand slid under the covers where it intuitively found her hip and rested a moment before pulling her closer.

It still amazed him how in sync they were with each other needs, without speaking a word. The absence of her hands on him meant she wanted to be the submissive one and G. Callen had no qualms with that. A lingering kiss, with his hand still on her hip, lasted several minutes before he flipped her to her back. She removed her pajama bottoms as Callen removed his boxer-briefs. Nestled between her legs, a hand slid upwards pushing up her top to expose breasts topped with erect nipples. He didn't hide the fact that he was proud for being able to get her libido going so quickly with minimal physical contact. Movement of his hips caused his erection to rub her inner thigh. That in turn gained Callen a smile that increased _his_ libido.

Moments later his movements produced approving sounds from both their mouths as Katie rested her feet on his shoulders intensifying every deep thrust inside her. Minutes passed as their bodies reached pleasurable heights and Katie's right hand gathered up a section of the sheet as she felt him rise to his climax. Taking her other hand off his now damp shoulder, she reached between them and found her arousal spike as she felt his seamen on her. Burying his cock deep inside her, he positioned his body so he could still watch her hand find a rhythm that would lead to her own orgasm. Although he was still enjoying the wonderful sensations from his own high he was still aware of what she needed and didn't hesitate to give it to her upon hearing the lone word, "More". Slow, deep penetrations were provided to aid in her own self pleasuring. It wasn't long before the hot flesh of their bodies lay entangled in the sheets and in each others arms.

"Thanks," he replied before kissing the top her head.

"Are you _thanking me_ for having sex with you?"

He moved to sit up. "For providing the distractions I needed. All of them."

"Anytime Callen. Anytime."

Callen's hand slipped behind her head and he leaned in for a kiss. A kiss of appreciation for all that was Kathryn Mitchell.

* * *

 _Monday, OSP_

The day was spent tracking down a missing Retired Navy Commander who had Alzheimer's and as the team leader was packing up his bag and saying good night to Grace and Kensi, Hetty summoned him into her office.

"Mr. Callen, please come to my office. I need to speak with you."

Kensi and Grace left while Sam said he would wait at his desk for his partner.

Slowly making his way to his boss' office, Callen wondered what it was she wanted to talk to him about but before he could run any scenarios through his mind, he heard her voice, "Mr. Callen, please have seat."

It only took a few words from his boss for the Senior Agent to feel this pit of his stomach tighten.

"I spoke with Owen .. I mean Assistant Director Granger today. He's stuck in D.C. longer than expected so he asked me to tell you that he appreciated your interest in the position of Operations Manager, however, he's found someone else to take over the position in the New Year."

G. Callen was rendered speechless for but only for a few moments.

Hetty was trying to be professional but when those baby blue eyes settled on her, she felt the professionalism dissipate.

"I'm just relaying the message Mr. Callen. He felt you should hear it in person and not over the phone."

"Guess I shouldn't have been so confident that the job was mine," he mumbled under his breath. G. Callen was crushed. Deflated. Disappointed. The list could continue but he wanted to know why he was passed up for the job he was more than capable of doing.

"Granger seemed very interested in me, what happened? Did he say why I'm not getting offered the job?" The Senior Agent suddenly realized he sounded desperate and if there was one thing he had learned from Hetty and that he held in high regard, it was the ability to not to be seen or heard as desperate, even if that was exactly what he was feeling. Callen took her reluctance to answer him personally and it prompted another question. "It was you. What did you tell him?" The anger he had towards Hetty over the 'Nate Incident" started to resurface.

"Mr. Callen ..."

"No. Don't try and justify your sabotaging of me getting the job." All the restraint he had was unleashed in a matter of seconds. "It's still all about your obsessive need to control me." Then he lost it and years of repressed feelings came out. It's not like he had anything to lose. Working as a security guard or freelance hit man wouldn't be _that bad_. "Your need to make up for your part in my mother's murder."

Being a woman of many years and wisdom did not prepare her for _that_. One of the many things of importance she had learned in her line of work was to keep personal and professional feelings separate. And even though she was as much personally connected to the Agent sitting across from her as she was professionally, it was imperative she stick to that unwritten rule.

"The Assistant Director asked me if there was any reason why he shouldn't hire you as Operations Manager." Callen knew he wasn't perfect and his performance reviews had reflected that but what could possibly prevent him from being Operations Manager? "I told him that you were an excellent candidate for the job, however, there was one thing that concerned me."


	4. Acceptance

**Chapter 4 – Acceptance**

The bar was quieting down as the dinner crowd left and Sam sat patiently beside his friend as Callen stewed about the rejection of not being the next Operations Manager. After a stretch of silence there was an outburst of frustration.

"Can you believe she told Granger that she didn't think I was capable of separating my personal feelings for the team from decisions of getting the job done _effectively_?" Callen slammed his beer on the bar.

"I can't believe you didn't tell me you were applying for the position that would make you my _boss."._ Sam had his own frustrations. "Imagine my surprise when Granger approached me with questions about you as you were wanting to move up the ranks." He gently set his own beer down, a move Callen noticed. An angry Sam Hanna was better than when the former Navy SEAL was passive.

"You're mad," Callen said realizing he had made a mess of things by wanting that position. His outburst with Hetty and now his best friend. Taking another long drink of his beer, Callen had hopes of it minimizing his thoughts.

"Not mad G. Disappointed. You should have told me."

"I was trying to make the decision on my own. You know, not having other people with their opinions and feelings weighing in on my decision."

Sam understood but by now he thought Callen would know that he wouldn't impose his thoughts on him but be supportive as that's what friends do.

"I wanted the job for Katie."

"She asked you to get another job?" From what he knew of her and their relationship and the incident in the past about his job, he would be surprised if that was what happened.

"No. She still supports me as a Field Agent." He shook his head and took another drink of his fourth beer. "It was my idea. And apparently, not one of my better ones," he admitted. "I don't want to miss time with her, you know? Life is so unpredictable."

"So you thought taking on the position of Operations Manager would fix that?" Sam asked with a look of astonishment on his face.

"Hetty doesn't do undercover assignments."

"But she's at the office long after us most nights," Sam countered.

"It's by choice sometimes," Callen replied having thought he could put in one or two late nights but still be home by a reasonable hour the other three.

"Was she wrong in what she said?"

Callen glared over at Sam and hated that he was so sharp. He had thought he'd covered all the bases when applying for the job. And that he would learn, as he went along, the things he wasn't familiar with. Tough decision making had been a daily part of his job but not on the level it would be as Operations Manager. He had overlooked the fact that he would have to sacrifice an Agent for the successful outcome of a mission if/when that scenario presented itself and no other options were available. Katie was right - Hetty had the utmost confidence in him to get Nate and himself home safely. Nate had gotten in over his head and Hetty knew Callen would read any 'signs' Nate gave that he wasn't a traitor. And that sign had been the sniff and twitch of the psychologist's nose. Despite her confidence, she also knew the risk that Callen would be killed was very high given the people Nate was working with.

The seasoned Agent always managed to get out of the numerous tough spots he had been in but he also knew that the day could come when he couldn't. Would he have been able to put Kensi, Grace or Sam in a situation where the outcome was even more unpredictable than usual? The answer was a resounding no. Going in with a partner or rest of the team carried a substantially lower risk of things going wrong than an Agent going in solo.

Making that decision to have Deeks mourning the love of his life or Michelle having to tell Rachel her father wasn't ever coming home, because of a decision he made, was an unbearable thought. Although Grace wasn't in a relationship, her sister and niece had come to live with her. He would have had to tell her family the worst of the worse news.

"No she wasn't wrong," he finally admitted aloud.

"Okay G, I've been listening to you for," he glanced at his phone, "fity-three minutes and I'm still not sure if you are trying to drown your sorrows or if you are gunning for alcohol poisoning so you don't have to go to work tomorrow." He pushed both their drinks aside and summoned the bartender to get them two black coffees. "What's this really about G?" He and Katie had overcome some serious shit and him not getting this job was, by far, the least serious.

* * *

It took several minutes of silence and sipping coffee for Callen to finally answer his partner in typical G. Callen fashion.

"Does Michelle know about Jada?" Callen asked as he gestured for another cup of coffee, silently thanking Sam for the switch in beverages.

"G, you know nothing ..."

Callen interrupted him, "I know nothing happened. I meant does Michelle know that her brother escaped our custody and that he harbours revenge for you?"

Sam wondered where this line of questioning was leading but still answered. "She knows that we were overseas taking down a notorious criminal and he evaded us after we captured him."

"Janvier will be sending his Christmas card soon."

It took a moment but Sam caught on. "If Katie sees it she will ask who Janiver is."

"Yeah." He leaned in closer to Sam, "He knows where _we_ live."

Sam understood Callen's worry and that despite being in one of the most secure prisons in the world, The Chameleon's reach had the potential to stretch beyond the steel bars and several feet of thick building walls. Just as Sam worried more about his family than himself with Tahir Kaled on the loose, Callen was concerned about Janvier learning about Katie, if he hadn't already. Their nemesis' weren't after Callen and Sam, but those they loved. That was the ultimate revenge for 'men' like Janvier and Kaled.

"What does Janvier have to do with you wanting to be Operations Manager?" Sam ask, trying to piece together everything Callen was saying.

As he said the words aloud he suddenly realized how his plan wasn't very well thought out at all. "I thought that I could get some inside help in keeping a close watch on him. Who was contacting him, who he was contacting."

"G, he's in solitary confinement twenty-three hours a day."

Callen's eyes, filled with guilt, still allowed his voice to be that of reason, "He outed you to Sidarov. He's capable of _anything._ Sam couldn't argue with that.

* * *

"Katie wants me to see a shrink. To talk about things," Callen said as Sam headed the Challenger towards Callen's home.

"Are you going to?" Sam asked knowing it wouldn't be with Nate.

 _Silence._

"I'll take that as a no."

"What could I tell them that would be beneficial in helping me? Although there's doctor/patient confidentiality, national security trumps that and even Nate didn't have the clearance that we do on many things."

Sam nodded his head in agreement.

"Unless he's dead, I don't see how anyone can help me." His thoughts traveled back to when he had asked Arkady for help but couldn't do it due to logistics with Janvier being sent to Guantanamo Bay. He was so close to having that problem permanently solved. _So close._

He had to tell someone his deepest fear or he was going to lose it and with Sam he knew it wouldn't go any further. Callen took a deep breath and slowly exhaled. "If Katie sees the card and asks who sent it to me, I can tell her but it's what she may get from that truth."

Sam remained quiet.

"She's an intuitive woman." His next words were hard to think let alone say. "What if she thinks her life is in danger because she is with me? I had a dream that he addressed the card to Katie."

Both men knew that would be Janvier's next move in their game. Sam had been the target of that revenge. He was trained to deal with 'those' types of situations. Katie wasn't. It became clearer to Sam why Callen didn't want to be a field agent anymore – he didn't want to be too far from home and in turn, not far from Katie. Sam had worries about Michelle and Rachel but given his wife's CIA training, it was much less than what Callen had for Katie.

As Sam pulled in the driveway Callen wasn't feeling the effects of the almost four beers as much and was grateful for that. But he was still nowhere near permanently dealing with his 'secret admirer'. Both men thought it 'odd' that hardened criminals like Janvier still had 'rights' and could send out one Christmas card each year. Sam tried to reassured him that the prison Janvier was in was as secure as they get and although he still managed to send a Christmas card to Callen, it would be next to impossible to get outside information, like Katie living with him. Callen thanked him for the ride home and for being the best friend a man could have.

* * *

As he turned the key in the lock of the front door, Callen shook his head to free it of the thoughts it had for the past few hours. He saw a glimmer of light in the hallway indicating Katie was still up. After dropping his bag in its spot and taking off his shoes, he made his way to the bedroom.

"Hey," he said as he leaned down to give her a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Hey," she replied after looking away from her phone. "Just reviewing my schedule for tomorrow. How was your outing with Sam?"

Texting her of his whereabouts after leaving work was something he did without question. "Good. Just had a few beers to wind down after a rough day," he answered while taking off his clothes.

Callen's words triggered negativity in her response, "You're not the only one who had a rough day."

"It's late, we can talk about it tomorrow?"

"Hopefully you're home early enough," she quipped before placing her phone in the drawer and pulling the blankets up over her shoulders.

Was her patience with his long nights wearing thin? And he wasn't even at work that evening! Saying sorry was futile and although Katie supported him, her words were laced with frustration. And he had to _do_ something to ease her frustrations as well as his own.

"I'll be up for a bit so I will sleep in the guest room," he said as he grabbed a t-shirt and jogging pants from the dresser.

"You don't have to," Katie said rolling on to her back to look up at him.

"I know but I don't want to disturb you."

"If you change your mind," she looked at the empty space beside her.

"Sweet dreams Kates. I love you."

"And I love you."

Callen turned, left the room and close the door behind him before making his way to the living room. He made himself comfortable on the couch before pulling out his phone. As he scrolled across the days of the calendar he stopped when the day they leave for Aruba was visible. _Five weeks away_. He shook his head and wished he could speed up time so he could whisk Katie away to the tropics for fun in the sun. California was fun. And sunny. But it also had thirty million people. And wildfires. And earth quakes. Those thoughts were way to depressing so he switched on the TV and found one of his favourite movies, _Uncle Buck._ Making sure the volume was low enough not to disturb Katie, he leaned back on the couch and enjoyed the laughs the comedy of John Candy gave his audiences. After the movie was over, he used the washroom then headed for the guest room. As he laid in bed, he replayed Katie's words, _"Hopefully you're home early enough."_ Frustrations were building in the Callen-Mitchell household. What could he do to alleviate that frustration? Thanksgiving and Christmas were nearly upon them and they were both looking forward to spending the holidays with family and friends. That would help.

Then it hit him - _Holidays_

Callen had an epiphany and literally patted himself on the back for (finally) thinking of it. And then mentally kicked himself in the ass for not thinking of it sooner.

Acceptance of his life, as it was, had always been a struggle for Callen. But with his new found plan and Katie's unwavering support, he would be on his way to finally accepting that he wasn't ever going to be able to predict when his past would come to the present or that a decision he made in the present would affect the future. And to _finally_ start _living_ the amazing life he had with Katie. And limit the amount of 'what ifs' he allowed into his mind.


	5. You Got It

**Chapter 4 - You Got It**

 _Every time I hold you, I begin to understand_  
 _Everything about you tells me I'm your man -You Got It, by Roy Orbison_

* * *

 _Two days later (Wednesday Evening), Callen-Mitchell Home_

As Callen finished prepping the ingredients for home made pizzas, he heard the front door open.

"Perfect timing," he said quietly. He placed the bowls with various toppings on the table, pulled the baking pans from the cupboard and then headed for the front door.

"Hey beautiful," his announced as he took Katie's bag then gave her a quick kiss on the lips.

"Hello handsome," she said with a sweet smile. "You're home early."

"How was your day?"

"Good. Actually, more productive than good."

He understood exactly what that meant. "Hope you are hungry. Pizzas with your favourite pitas."

"From _Marciano's Bakery?"_ she asked with widened eyes.

He nodded, "And I bought those mini quiches for your lunch."

Knowing her new favourite bakery was at least a thirty-minute drive, Katie's curiosity was heightened. " _How early_ did you get home?"

In classic G. Callen style, he didn't answer her. "Why don't you get changed and I'll turn the oven on."

Callen wasn't a 'game player' but he was home in one piece, breathing and standing upright. It didn't _really_ matter to her why he had come early that unusually cool day in October.

* * *

"So you are saying that you will be doing this _every_ Wednesday?" Katie asked as she put a little extra cheese over her toppings.

"Every Wednesday."

"For how long?" she asked as he set the timer for the pizzas he put in the oven and they sat down to eat their salad.

'Well, I have forty-two days accrued time off, so forty-two weeks," he answered, still very proud of himself for coming up with a fix for ensuring he was home more during the week. The reality of him being sent on an undercover assignment and not being home on a Wednesday was still there but neither would speak of it and Callen was grateful for that.

"Why didn't you take any of that time off?"

"No need after I took the mandatory yearly vacation time." He set his fork down, took a sip of his water, then continued. "I had wanted Hetty's job so I could be home more but since I didn't get it, I decided this was something we could both benefit from."

Katie smelled the aroma of the pizzas and agreed with him.

"Do you know why you didn't get the job?"

"Yes."

"Do you want to tell _me_?"

"Granger had talked Sam, Kensi, Grace and even Deeks about me. He also talked to Hetty."

Katie waited patiently for the reason.

"She told him that she didn't feel I was capable of separating my personal feelings for the team from decisions that would have to be made to get the job done _effectively_."

"Oh Callen ..."

"No pity needed," he said abruptly. "She's right. I've made some wickedly tough choices over the years but never have I had to make the decision to sacrifice an Agent to get a successful outcome for the job."

"I take it Hetty has had to sacrifice an Agent."

He nodded, "More than once." And then started tapping his foot and Katie knew there was still something else he wanted to tell her.

"What is it Callen?"

Literally saved by the timer he said, "After dinner."

Katie savoured every bite and surprised herself by having three pita-pizzas. Idle chit chat occurred during the meal and when they finished Callen said he would clean up. Katie unpacked her lunch items and repacked fresh items for the next day and made sure everything was ready for another day at work. She was already looking forward to next Wednesday.

* * *

There was no easy way to tell Katie about Marcel Janvier's impending Christmas card, so after he cleaned up in the kitchen he made tea and brought it into the living room where Katie was snuggled up on the couch under a blanket. They were both too full for dessert so he put the chocolate cheese cake in the fridge.,

"Looks cozy under there. Mind if I join you?" he asked after setting the mugs on the coffee table.

"I'd mind if you _didn't_ join me," she answered as she lifted the blanket and Callen sat beside her.

They both stared at the mugs, neither wanting to move from their cocoon of warmth.

"It's still too hot to drink," she said as she snuggled into him. He would usually put his arm around her but he was too focused on what he was going to say.

"There's no easy way to say this so just wait until I'm finished, okay?"

Katie nodded but wasn't liking the sound of his voice. One thing for certain though in their relationship was that Callen had more secrets than the entire Magician population combined. Some she would never know. Some she would learn bits and pieces about. And each time one was revealed she thought she was prepared for it, but more times than not, she was proven wrong.

"We, I mean _I,_ will be getting a Christmas card soon."

 _A Christmas card?_ Katie (tried to) mentally brace herself for his next words as only G. Callen could make receiving a Christmas card an issue.

"It will be coming from Florence, Colorado."

Katie remained silent, not recalling Callen mentioning he knew anyone there.

"It will be from an inmate in the prison there." Relived he finally told her, he waited breathlessly for her response.

"Isn't that the one for the worst of the worse criminals?" Katie asked as she sat upright and was intrigued with Callen's connection to an inmate there.

Callen nodded, "He killed two NCIS Agents."

"So why is he sending _you_ a Christmas card?"

"I was the one who arrested him." No need to tell her about shooting Janvier in the face and the subsequent moves in their _game_. _Or_ that Janvier's last spoken words to him were _"Agent G. Callen. The game is not over."_ They still sent a shiver down his spine when he said them in his head. And of course, the Chameleon's reference to the book _The Count of Monte Crisco_ couldn't be forgotten –-or overlooked by the almost thirty-nine-year-old Federal Agent.

"How does he know where you live?" Katie's inuring mind kept Callen on his toes.

"I'm not sure how he got my address." _That_ was the truth.

Katie snuggled back into his chest, "Well it's a good thing he's in a prison he can't get out of. Anyone in prison who would send a Christmas card to the person who arrested them _is_ crazy."

Lying to Katie wasn't as easy as lying to a suspect. In fact, it tested every skill he had ever learned.

"Yeah, he's crazy alright." _More like vengeful and determined - to kill/destroy all that I love._

"Is he bigger than you?" Katie asked as she reached for her mug.

Janvier was same height and give or take a few pounds, same weight. And although Callen was thirteen years younger, Janvier's vindictiveness was the best, make that the worst, he had ever encountered. And he had battled wits with some of the most notorious criminals on the planet. "No. _Why_ would you ask that?"

"Well, if he was like Sam or bigger, I might be somewhat concerned but I've seen what _you_ are capable of."

Although Katie had come to terms with Callen's 'capabilities', he still didn't like that she had witnessed the incident in Kenya. But that was the past and he was determined to focus on the present and future. He was just about to ask her what she would like to do next Wednesday when he felt her hand on his inner thigh.

He had eaten four pizzas and wasn't in the mood for sex but that became irrelevant when she slid off the couch onto to her knees and nestled between his legs. Katie's prelude to performing oral sex on him was tantalizingly slow before she worked her way up and down his shaft, mouth and hands working in tandem to give him pleasure.

"I should take _two_ days a week off," he managed to say after Katie joined him back on the couch.

Katie smiled sweetly at him. "I really appreciate you doing all of this."

He pressed his forehead onto hers and closed his eyes for several moments. As he pulled back, he just stared at her, his heart again growing with love. "I had to do something after what you said Monday night."

"I was just frustrated."

"But you were right. I sometimes forget that your job can be stressful. And I shouldn't forget because I was one of the kids who tested the patience of every Social Worker I saw. And I saw a lot of them. Do you want to talk about it now?"

"No. That was two days ago. I already talked to Taryn about it."

"I'm sorry I wasn't there for you." He took her hand in his, "I know you want me to talk to someone but I'm just not ready. To be honest, right I don't feel I ever will be. But I will keep an open mind and not disregard it completely."

"You can only go when you're ready."

"Katie?"

"Yeah?

"I know _this_ doesn't make up for all of my absences …"

She cut him off. "I never said you had to make up for them. But I now have a new favourite day of the week."

"Mine too."

"I don't think you give yourself enough praise for being the kind of man you are." She sat up and moved back so she could look him in the eyes. "What you did today was a very selfless thing to do."

He pulled her against his body and savored the feeling for it was at that moment he embraced the reality that he was as good for Katie as she was for him.

* * *

Despite the coolness of the evening air, Katie and Callen put on their jackets and went for a walk. They made their way around the block and stopped at a small park where they found a bench to sit on. Their surroundings were illuminated by street lights which shinned directly towards the playground equipment. Katie thoughts immediately went to the young girl she had talked with on Monday.

"She's eight and her mom said she was going to the store and would be back soon. Six hours later the girl went to a neighbour's and told them her mom hadn't come back." Callen listened with an empathetic ear knowing this was why Katie had a rough day on Monday.

"Neighbour called Family Services and they eventually found the mom high in her pimp's house."

Although he rarely encountered children in his job, those situations hit him hard. Katie dealt with children every day and he admired her strength to do that.

"Let's head back home now." He stood then took her hand. "And you can tell me what you would like to do next Wednesday after I take you out to dinner at the place of your choice."

"You're spoiling me G. Callen. And I _love it_." She took his hand and they headed in the direction of their home.

"I like to think of it as showing my appreciation for the amazing woman you are."

"I am amazing, aren't I?"

"And then some," he replied as he whirled her around and pulled her to his chest. Words were the furthest thing from his mind as he kissed her soundly, the sounds of crickets in the forest fading as their mouths met in an intensity that surprised them both.

"We should go home," Katie said after pulling back and catching her breath.

Callen nodded. As they made their way up the walkway Callen asked her again what she wanted to do next week.

After closing the door and turning the lock, Katie slowly unlaced her shoes as she thought of how to word her answer.

"There is something I have wanted to do," stated hesitantly, "but don't want to go alone. Or with a girlfriend."

"Anything you want." Callen was feeling optimistic about life in general and Katie wasn't an extreme person when it came to extracurricular activities, so he was game for whatever she wanted to do.

"I want to go to _Amor Lingerie_ ... and _Sex Shop_."

 _Silence_

He had been to one several years ago during an investigation and was very grateful he never had to go back to one. Maybe it was that particular store but the thought of Katie entering a sleazy establishment like that one wasn't something he would agree to.

Katie saw the look of displeasure on his face. "Never mind. I should have known you would react like that."

"Like what?" He was now in defensive mode. "Is there something you're not telling me about our sex life that needs _assistance_? You already have a vibrator."

"You know I'm _very_ happy _and_ satisfied with our sex life. It's just more of a curiosity. But if you're not able to handle it ... I understand."

Katie was testing Callen's personal mantra to never turn down a challenge. And he hated to love that about her.

He took a moment to ponder what curiosities Katie had. Some made him cringe. Others had him curious. And aroused. If he didn't agree to go she might resent him for it and that was the last thing he needed. He had to admit that although the place he had visited violated more codes than any rooming house he had stayed in, he had also visited even worse places while undercover.

"I'll drive."


	6. Two Steps Forward, One Step Back

**Chapter 6 – Two Steps Forward, One Step Back**

 _Friday Evening, Callen-Mitchell Home_

"Thank you so much," Michelle said as she and Rachel greeted Katie.

"No problem," Katie replied as she closed the door.

With Callen and Sam at a basketball game and Rachel's evening plans at a friend's house cancelled, Michelle had asked Katie if she could drop Rachel off for a few hours while she taught a women's self-defense class.

"I will be back by ten. If she's tired, just let her sleep on the couch."

"I'm not a baby mom. I can stay up until ten o'clock," the almost eight-year-old girl said with vitality.

"You're right. I'm sorry." Michelle glanced at Katie who knew Michelle often went by the parenting philosophy of _"Mother Knows Best."_

With a quick kiss and hug to her daughter, Michelle left and after Katie saw the lights of the car disappear, she turned to Rachel who was already sitting on the couch.

"My mom still thinks I'm a baby." Katie watched at the spirited girl rolled her eyes. "I told her I don't need a _babysitter_."

"How about we call it 'Child Watching'? Katie asked as she joined Rachel on the couch.

Rachel's eyes widened, "I like that. I will babysit for you and Uncle G after you get married and have a baby. That would be real babysitting. My dad said Uncle G can be a slow poke. That's good 'cause my mom said I can't babysit until I'm thirteen."

"That's very nice of you Rachel." Katie was taken aback by the clarity as which the young child was speaking. She had been privy to it before but this time it was even more pronounced. And it took everything in her power not to laugh at the slow-poke Uncle G comment.

"And I will do it for free. My dad said it's not polite to ask family for money." Rachel glanced around the living room looking for something that was kid friendly to do. There wasn't anything.

"That is very generous of you. I'm sure when the time comes the baby will love having you babysit them." She knew she was a part of the 'family' but to hear it from someone other than Callen, reminded Katie how fortunate her and Callen were to have such loving people in their lives.

"What should we do Aunt Katie?"

Katie glanced at Rachel's backpack.

"Is there something in your backpack that we could do together?"

Rachel glanced downward at the item knowing its contents.

"It's just some geography homework. I'm not very good at remembering the names of places."

"I think I may remember a thing of two from when I learned about", she picked up the book Rachel had removed from her backpack, "Deserts". Would you me like to help you?"

Rachel was hoping her and Katie would do something fun but if she got her homework done she wouldn't have to worry about it on the weekend. "Okay."

Katie turned the dreaded twenty-minute assignment into an hour-long session of fun learning but there were still two hours left before Michelle would return. Katie asked the young girl if she wanted to play a board game and Rachel nodded enthusiastically. As they looked through the games in the guest room closet, Rachel chatted about happenings at school and her new-found interest, gymnastics. The time passed quickly as games were played, hot chocolate was sipped and Katie learned several new " _Knock Knock_ " jokes.

An hour after Michelle had picked up Rachel, Katie was watching a movie as she waited for Callen to come home. At 11:25 her phone altered her of a text that would have Callen home in ten minutes.

Knowing she was awake, he called out as he entered the house. "Hi honey, I'm home.

"You know I hate being called honey," Katie answered from her laying down position on the couch.

"Are you going to punish me?" He quipped as he removed his boots and sat down beside her curled up legs.

"Only in your dreams."

A smile, that told her she was always in his dreams, formed. "I hear you had a guest earlier."

Katie sat up and nodded.

"That was really nice of you to watch her."

"That's what family does, right?"

"Yeah, that's what family does." He couldn't help but smile at her messed hair and small piece of chocolate on the corner of her mouth. He reached his hand over and brushed his thumb over the missed piece of food.

"She's a great kid," Katie announced after thanking him for the gesture. "Good game?"

"Court-side seats made it a great game. Katie wasn't a basketball or football fan but she did enjoy watching hockey and at some point, her and Callen planned to take in a Kings game.

"Vita texted earlier. She wants to know if we want to go out for dinner tomorrow night. And bowling or glow in dark mini golf."

Not being a fan of bowling or mini golf, he picked the one he liked better of the two options. "Mini golf".

"I know it's not your thing but thank you."

He gave her a warm smile and kissed her gently on the lips. "I couldn't pick bowling because last time all you did was ogle my ass."

"Then you shouldn't wear such form fitting jeans."

"I could wear nothing and you would still ogle me."

"Now you're talking. Naked bowling. You're such a kinky man."

Laughter ensued. "That was a long day," Callen said.

"Sure was. How about a do-nothing day tomorrow before we go out for dinner?" she stated before sitting up and folding the blanket.

"Sounds good to me," he replied. Then he cocked his head and raised his eyebrows. "But only if making love to the most beautiful woman in the world is considered doing nothing".

"Flattery like that will get you laid."

"I'm counting on it," he replied as he stood up then leaned down to give her a quick kiss before taking a shower and getting ready for bed.

Katie called Vita and the plans were made to go for dinner at 6pm Saturday with Kevin and Vita then to a nearby Indoor Mini Golf place. Katie then joined Callen in bed. They cuddled for a few minutes before Katie fell asleep. Callen gently pulled his arm out from under her head before rolling to his side and joining her in sound slumber.

* * *

It was a rarity that Callen slept longer than Katie but that Saturday morning was one of them. She watched him sleep for a few moments, the rise and fall of his chest pushing the blankets up ever so slightly. Quietly she made her way to the kitchen where she boiled water for tea and prepped the eggs and bacon for breakfast. Twenty minutes later Callen joined her and they enjoyed a leisurely meal.

"I don't have anywhere to go today, do you?" he asked as he looked out the window at the steady fall of the rain and wanted to verify she was still game for a 'do nothing day'.

"No. I got groceries after work yesterday."

"Good," he replied with a sassy grin.

"Not sure what we can do until six o'clock. Any suggestions?" Katie asked as she started to clear the table knowing darn well what would be taking place.

"Let's clean up and then take a _hot_ bath."

* * *

"Okay, this tub was worth every dollar and extra day it took to get installed," Katie said as she sat between Callen's legs, encased by bubbles in their new large, oval bathtub.

A bath sponge slid across her back and then down an arm sending an euphoric sensation throughout her body as the hot water literally dissipated any tension in their bodies.

"You keep that up and I will be taking a nap," Katie said as she turned her head to meet his eyes.

"You can have a nap _after_ I'm finished."

Callen continued to make a trail over her body with the sponge, the slickness of her water covered skin building his arousal. Just as the water started to feel cool, Callen motioned for them to get out and with a few steps to the left he reached for the shower handle and turned it on.

When the renovations were discussed the couple opted for a small addition off the master bedroom to house their new bathroom. The ensuite was something out of a magazine-literally. Callen wasn't sure at first when they were given the quote but after Katie took him aside and _briefly_ explained the benefits of such an elaborate design in their home: shower sex would no longer be awkward; Callen gave the go ahead. And of course, it would be a great selling feature _if_ they ever decided to sell their home.

Dual shower heads and a place to sit had Callen more than convinced they made the right decision.

"Front or back?" she asked as her hand slid between his legs.

Both were equally inviting. Gripping her hips tightly as she placed her hands on the edge of the seat, legs spread, head tilted, her sensuous ass and encouraging eyes on display for _his_ pleasure.

Or his grabbing her hips and pulling her body to the edge of the seat, legs spread, his body between them, their eyes meeting as he penetrated her. The sweet sound she made as he slowly withdrew. The breath she held until he slid back in.

"On my lap," he directed after he sat down.

She moved toward him and he motioned for her to turn around.

" _Oh yeah_ ," she said quietly as his strong arms wrapped around her waist and moments later Katie's hips were slowly moving up and down, feeling the length of him fill her as she dropped to his thighs. Never a worry that he would loosen his grip, she picked up her pace, his hips tilting up to enhance the pleasure until Callen ended that portion of the day's sexual escapades.

Barely dry and still naked, Callen scooped her up in his arms and carried her to the bedroom. The rain was falling harder and intermittent bangs of thunder startled Katie.

"You know I hate thunder," she said nervously as he stopped midway down the hallway.

"I still don't understand that. It's clouds banging together. It can get pretty crowded up there though during a storm." His attempt at humour wasn't well received by his lover.

"Put me down _Mr. Callen."_

He shuddered at her calling him that.

"I asked you not …" _Oh. My. God._

"I told you," she moved his cock to the side of her mouth so the next words were as clear as possible, "Don't be sassy."

All intelligible thoughts were removed from his mind as her firm maneuvers brought him to the edge of ecstasy. But just to the edge. Then she stopped.

"Relax. It's not that bad, is it?" _Her_ sassiness didn't go unrecognized by him.

Their playful bantering helped balance out the seriousness of their work lives. And when it happened during sex, it was an aphrodisiac for him. And she knew it. He again scooped Katie up into his arms and made haste to their bedroom where he wasn't sassy.

* * *

 _Later That Night, Callen-Mitchell Home_

"That was a great night - even the mini golf was fun," Callen said as he and Katie readied themselves for bed.

"Yes it was. And what great news that Kevin and Vita are getting married."

Callen nodded and hoped Katie would leave _that_ topic alone.

"They're our friends. Are you not happy for them?" Katie asked as she fluffed her pillow.

"Of course I'm happy for them. It's just that …" He gave his pillow an extra good fluffing. "You know…"

"No I don't know."

He turned to face her. "People will start asking _us_ when we're getting married."

Katie understood exactly what he was talking about but still had to assert some logic into her response. "We don't have any mutual friends with Kevin and Vita, so I'm not sure what _people_ you are referring to. Callen, we will get married when _we_ are ready."

"Are you ready?" Her lack of a response was unsettling to him. "I will take your hesitation as a no." He turned towards the bathroom and closed the door behind him.

Katie had to do or say something to reassure him that she was committed to him forever and always but not actually come out and say that her answer would be yes if, make that _when,_ he proposed to her.

Callen took longer than usual to brush his teeth as he contemplated what had just happened. He could very easily walk out to the bedroom and ask Katie to marry him as it was just a question that needed a yes or no answer. That had been his way of thinking for so many years. Then he met Kathryn Mitchell and so many things changed, including that train of thought. He wanted the moment to be romantic but not predictable.

If he was keeping in the practical way of thinking, he knew Katie wouldn't want an elaborate proposal. Sweet and practical. Just like her. He also had an idea of what type of ring he wanted to get her. If he spent an absurd amount on it, Katie would not be impressed. Practical but elegant. Again, just like her. As for when and where, that was still to be determined. When he first realized that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, he envisioned exactly how and where he would propose. He still wanted to do that but the timing to go to the place in question wasn't working out for him. And then as he rinsed and gargled, another epiphany came to him. He stared at his reflection in the mirror. "It took you a while, but you figured it out." He was yet again very proud of himself for solving another dilemma.

Katie used the other bathroom and then waited in bed for Callen to join her.

"I'm sorry for…" he started to say but was cut off when she interrupted him.

"You don't have anything to be sorry for." They were snuggled under the covers facing each other. "I love you and know I will be sharing the rest of my life with _you._ "

No further words were needed and he could now start shopping for her ring given that the where he would propose was now attainable.

"So what did you think about that story Vita told?" Katie asked after they had engaged in a lingering kiss.

"About the swinging couple inviting them to a party?"

'Yeah, that was really weird."

"This is LA. Nothing that happens here is weird."

"So you wouldn't think it even a little weird if a couple propositioned us?"

"Wouldn't happen," Callen responded with the highest of confidence.

"And why is that?"

"I would recognize their intent. I'm highly skilled in reading body language and subliminal messages."

"Well that's good to know. You know, just in case anyone ever tried to ask us." Katie's skepticism irked Callen.

"You don't think I'm capable of figuring out that someone wants to fuck my girlfriend while I screw their wife or girlfriend?"

Katie's mouth may have dropped to the bed if that was at all possible. "No need to be crude. Vita and Kevin and very intelligent people and they didn't see it."

"It wouldn't happen with us. Unless you would want it to happen?" His eyes were locked on hers waiting for a reply.

"Now you're just being …"

"Silly? Stupid?"

"I wasn't going to say that."

"How about uptight? That would go well with my _restlessness_."

"An ass. You are being an ass."

"Whatever. I'm going to sleep." He turned over, pulled the covers over his shoulders and closed his eyes.

Callen could feel her eyes on him and knew she wanted to talk but he was tired. Physically and emotionally. He was lashing out at Katie when it was his own lack of control with his emotions that were the underlying issue. He had to find a way to deal with them and since his 'therapy sessions' with Katie weren't as effective they needed to be for him to learn how to cope with them, he silently surrendered on seeing someone who wasn't sleeping in his bed. Every step he took forward with his life was countered with two steps backward. And if he continued at that pace long term, everything he had with Katie might come to an end.

* * *

Callen had only been asleep for a few hours when he was awakened by an intense dream. After taking a moment to realize it was only a dream, he glanced beside him and saw that Katie wasn't in bed.

"This is different," he said as he made his way to the in the living room where Katie was sitting with her phone in her hand.

"Guess your night waking habit is rubbing off on me."

He gestured to the spot beside her and she nodded.

"Katie, I'm ..."

"Please don't say you're sorry." Her tone was harsh despite the quietness of her voice.

"I won't."

"Good."

"There's a reason why I have been hesitant about seeing some one to talk about my _issues_. Well, one of the main reasons."

She heard the sincerity in his words and braced herself for what was to come.

"I'm afraid that I'll say something that would have me suspended (again) from field work. There is a line that is drawn for Agents that we know not to cross. I've had one foot over that line many times. One unconscious admission about what I'm thinking and feeling, I could have both feet over it."

Katie allowed her frustrations to leave her body and focus on what Callen was saying.

"It's not fair to you Katie to have to deal with my issues all the time when you are seeing someone to deal with your own."

He took her hand in his. "It won't be easy but the tension between us caused by my lack of control with what I say, will eventually take a toll on our relationship. I want you to be happy, not frustrated."

"I appreciate your honesty Callen. Therapy isn't easy but with effort and commitment, it does help."

"I'll ask Hetty on Monday if there is someone other than Nate that I can see."

"I'm relived you are going to do this," Katie said as she squeezed his hand.

"I'm going to try but I don't think I will be as successful as you have been," he replied.

"Going to therapy isn't a competition. Everyone is different in how they utilize therapy sessions. I've counseled parents of the kids I see and some of them never change. Others make major changes in short periods of time."

"It may take a while to see changes. I tend to be a bit stubborn and I have _a lot_ of things to talk about," he admitted.

"Yes, you can be stubborn, but again, I don't feel you give yourself enough praise for when you aren't."

He knew she was right and that would be one of the many things he would talk about with the therapist.

"What has helped me is making a list of things I want to talk about at each session so we don't get off track. "

"I'll do that. Thanks." He removed his hand from hers. "We don't talk about how you are doing," he said. "For that, I am _sorry_ and I will change that with or without therapy."

"You know I would tell you if there is something to tell."

"But I'm not always here at the time you may want to tell me."

"True, but when you are here, like now, I could tell you." He waited to see what she would say. "There really isn't anything specific to tell. It's an ongoing process. I'm pretty much accepting of what you do for a living and your _capabilities_. They are a part of you and my love for you doesn't have conditions. Yes, I get frustrated at times when you're not home at night but a lot of people work late. I embrace the time we _are_ together." She paused a moment. "You know what's most difficult about therapy for me?"

"What?"

"Being a Social Worker and trained to deal with other people's issues but I was unable to handle my own."

"You are an amazing person Katie Mitchell. I know, I need to expand my vocabulary, but that word if perfect for you. And it's always easier to see things in other people than in ourselves." Katie knew that but it didn't mean she still didn't wonder why she couldn't self talk her way through her issues.

"And so are you Callen. You just need a reminder sometimes."

He leaned over and softly kissed her lips then leaned back and closed his eyes before asking about the other reason she was in therapy.

"That one is more challenging," she said as she too leaned back. "It's one thing to come to terms with almost dying from an etopic pregnancy but the fear is still there when I think about getting pregnant."

"I won't pretend to know how that must feel," he said as his eyes met hers.

"Only a woman who has been there can relate." Katie moved closer to him, "But you've been my biggest support in dealing with this."

"Not sure how since we've only talked about it a few times."

"We don't have to talk about it. I know that you will support whatever decision I make when it's time to start a family. And after it happened, despite your own injuries, you were there for me. Physically and emotionally. I wouldn't be where I am today if it weren't for you. Sometimes a person just needs a hug, a smile or some time alone. You did it all."

Callen didn't say anything as his thoughts drifted. He was a protector of others first. His bruised ribs and blurry vision were insignificant (in his mind) compared to what Katie had been going through. At the time, he did what he had to do but at what cost to his mental health? His ribs healed and is eye was back to normal but the thoughts of almost dying (being burned alive!) hadn't healed. It was just another item he placed in the box in the back of his mind. That box was almost full. He took a deep breath and slowly exhaled. It was time to start emptying it.

He opened his eyes and pulled Katie into a hug before they turned off the light and went back to sleep in their bed.

"We can talk more tomorrow but I still want to know why you were being an ass earlier," Katie said as she rolled to her side and put an arm around him.

"Tomorrow," he replied.

* * *

 _Sunday_

"Uncle G! Aunt Katie! I'm so happy you came!" Rachel was very proud of herself for mastering her gymnastics routine and had asked her dad if she could ask Callen and Katie to come watch her perform it. After she gave quick hugs to her guests, she ran back to join her class.

Sam and Michelle guided Callen and Katie to empty chairs at the other side of the gym in front of where Rachel would be dong her floor routine. The adults engaged in small talk until the 'announcer' stood up and introduced the performers. Floor routines were last so thirty minutes of balance beam, box horse and rings routines were watched. After the first routine was completed, Rachel stood and walked to the corner of the mat. The confidence she exuded was clearly inherited from her parents.

Callen took a moment to think about what his child, or children, would inherit from him. The obvious could be blue eyes or blond hair that may or may not darken with age. Although he didn't dislike his nose, he didn't hate but would prefer his daughter, if they had one, to inherit Katie's less prominent facial feature. He hoped their offspring would have the same love for children as their parents. And the compassion to help those in need. And if they chose to adopt, he knew there wasn't anything he could do about physical appearances but hoped they would still be enable to instill other favourable characteristics in their child, or children.

Rachel's name being announced took Callen from his thoughts to watching his special girl do her flips and rolls. For a seven year, old in her first year of gymnastics, her agility and maneuverability were impressive. Although she needed some spotting assistance for her back walk over, Rachel was very proud of her performance. Everyone in the class received a blue ribbon for participation and there was a ribbon given out to most improved participant. Rachel thought she may have a chance at it but it went to her friend Katrina who managed to pull off a cluster of impressive cartwheels on the (low) balance beam. The team congratulated Katrina before people started to leave and a pre-planned lunch at Rachel's restaurant of choice, was enjoyed by the Hanna's, Callen and Katie.

"They are great people," Katie said as they waved back at Rachel before getting into Callen's car.

"Yes they are," Callen said as she opened the door for Katie.

"After Michelle died I didn't think I would ever have someone I could be that close with again. And it's kind of weird that I found someone named Michelle."

"I've thought that about the name part as well," he said with a big smile.

As Callen fastened his seat belt, he glanced over at Katie who watching Rachel climb in the back seat of Michelle's SUV. He hesitated a moment before he spoke. "Do you want to go to _that place_ today instead of Wednesday?"

Katie was caught off guard at his comment. "Sure, but I was going to say we could forget about it." She did like to challenge him, as he did her, but sometimes being respectful needed to come before a challenge.

He told her of his experience years ago at the seedy establishment and then went a little deeper with his feelings on going there and why he was an ass the night before.

"I admire your liberalness on sex, but for me, I don't like the idea of other people joining us during sex. I'm also not liking the idea of going to a sex shop with you, where other people will know what we like, or dislike, in the bedroom."

Katie listened and was going to respect his wish not to go if it came to that but first she needed to express her thoughts.

"I never said I liked the idea of other people having sex with us. You drew that conclusion on your own."

She was right. Her brief hesitation had _him_ thinking her answer was yes.

"What kind of place do you think _I_ would go to? It's unfortunate you had a bad experience but that's not this place. Do you think a woman with a 'strap on' will be working? Or there will be dildo's hanging from the ceiling?" Katie waited as Callen struggled with a reply, shocked at the images she put in his mind.

"No, of course not ... I just ... Well, you know?"

"It's also a lingerie shop. Do you like lingerie?"

"Only when you're wearing it." That excitement part he had experienced when Katie first suggested going there, returned.

She was adamant on defending her choice but keeping an open mind that going to sex shops isn't for everyone.

"I doubt we will ever see anyone in the store again, so worrying about what they may think isn't logical."

Callen took a moment to contemplate his position on the subject. He was allowing his past to affect his judgement, something that he was committed to changing.

"We'll go but on one condition."

Katie waited in anticipation for the condition.

"I'm _not_ wearing a cock ring."

She would accept that. "Fair enough."

Before he turned the car on he felt one more thing needed to be addressed. "Do you _think_ about … multiple partners?"

"Yes, I do."

His eyes widened in surprise.

"But that's all it is. Thoughts. Fantasizing is easy. Doing it – don't think I could. A person must be prepared to deal with the emotional after effects. And to be honest, unless you _really_ know the people well, there's no certainty they won't give you something physical to deal with. "Do _you_ _think_ about other people in bed with us?"

"Yes but like you I don't think I could ever go through with it even if it was just one time. I'm toting around enough emotional baggage as it is."

They were both calmed by the admittances that they would be the only two people having sex in their bed (or any other place they chose). It also supported what they already knew about their relationship: even if they weren't comfortable with a topic they could still talk about it, which wasn't the case in all relationships. It also allowed Callen and Katie an opportunity to share their _thoughts/fantasies_ next time they were intimate. Callen asked Katie to look up the directions as he pulled out of the parking lot.

"It looks like a regular store," Callen announced as he pulled the Jag into a spot _not_ directly in front of _Amor Lingerie & Sex Shop._

"How can you tell? We're like two hundred feet away."

"I'm getting far sighted, not near sighted. I can see it just fine from here."

Katie giggled at Callen's reluctance and decided he could use some more humour, "For the record, _I_ won't be wearing a cock ring either."

Her door had closed before he could say anything.

"Katie wait," he said as he caught up with her. "Where did you buy your current _toy_?"

"On line."

"So why couldn't we do some on line shopping?"

"Have you ever tried to order lingerie on line?"

His perplexed face made her smile. "No."

"Neither have I."

He squeezed his eyes shut and prayed for all this to be a dream.

"Good Afternoon. Welcome to Amor. My name is Cindy and if you need any assistance let me know.

"Thank you," Katie replied but refrained from giving hers and Callen's name. "I'd like to look at your lingerie."

"We have a fine selection that you and your …? The saleswoman glanced over at Callen who had conveniently (for him) separated from Katie.

"Boyfriend," Katie added then whispered. "He's a bit uncomfortable."

Cindy smiled knowingly and led the way to the lingerie section as Callen followed several steps behind.

"The dressing rooms are over there."

"Thank you," Katie said as she waited for Callen to join her. "Are you okay?" she asked.

"I'm better now that we're in the _clothing_ section."

Katie knew exactly what she wanted and after reading the overhead signs and found the style she was looking for, she started the search for her size. With items in hand she walked over to the dressing room. Callen had just stood to the side and let Katie do her thing but as she walked towards the dressing room, he followed.

"Where do you think you're going?" she asked as she pivoted on her heels to face him.

"To watch the _Fashion Show._ "

"No. You see them now and it will take away the surprise."

He gave a sad, pouting look that Katie didn't fully fall for.

"Fine. You can see one but only on the condition that you loosen up a bit."

He glanced down at the various colours of see through items in her hand. Some vivid images of her in them passed through his mind and willingly he agreed to loosen up. The first three she tried on he didn't see but fourth one had him wondering why he had been so 'uptight'.

A low, throaty groan vibrated through his chest as Katie modeled the navy-blue baby doll set. The plunging neckline gave him a glimpse of the flesh his mouth and hands were desiring. But it was the fly-away back that had him wishing they hadn't been in a public place the first time he had seen her in it. The firm curves of her bottom were clearly defined by the matching laced panty. He so desperately wanted to follow her back into the dressing room, close the door _and …._

"Callen? What you do think? I really like it."

His lack of an answer wasn't as surprising as his movement towards her, his body literally pushing her back into the dressing room.

"What are you doing?"

"Showing you how much I like your outfit."

Before she could contemplate what he might do, his back was flush against the now locked door with Katie facing him, their bodies not touching.

"We can't have sex in here," she whispered.

"No sex. Just appreciating your choice in _lingerie_." And with that his right hand moved to her left shoulder where it lingered a moment before slowly trailing down her arm. He was barely touching her and yet the convolution of sensations throughout her body were intense.

"Callen … we shouldn't ….

"Shouldn't what?" he asked as his fingers met the top of her hand.

Before she could reply, his mouth was covering her middle finger with nips and sucks. As his tongue swirled around the digit Katie watched with her own appreciation as he moved on to the next finger. She had never thought of her fingers as an erogenous zone but Callen changed that with his unwavering attentiveness – and skills.

Her cheeks flushed, Katie watched as he placed a soft kiss on the back of her hand, turn around, unlock the door and exited the dressing room. Before the door closed she heard his request, "Get two of the one you are wearing."

She heard the large door click and was left alone questioning his words. It took her a few moments but then it connected: one of them might get torn. With that thought lurking in her mind, she got dressed, picked up the items she was going to buy and left the dressing room. And before she met up with Callen she took another navy-blue baby doll set off the shelf.

There were small metal carts that could be used to put their items in but Callen adamantly refused to be seen in a sex shop with _a cart full of items_. He reached out and took the lingerie draped over her arm and led the way down the first aisle. He had loosened up in the lingerie section but some of the awkwardness returned as Katie led the way up and down the aisles, looking but not touching. It wasn't until his mood changed yet again, as they reached the end of the third aisle and she picked up a box. The name caught _his_ attention.

 _Diving Dolphin_

He leaned into her, "Is this for when I'm not home?"

And there was the underlying issue for him not wanting to go to a sex shop. His guilt about not always being home. And leaving Katie to tend to her own needs.

"Yes, but I also thought it would be fun to use together."

They had experienced some magnificent sex using her vibrator. He glanced down at the box in her hand. He had seen some crazy shit in his life but a silicone/rubber dolphin to give a woman (or good Lord, a man) an orgasm, stretched his thinking. Callen glanced backed up at Katie's face. She wasn't trying to torture him. He was doing that all on his own. If Katie was accepting of his downfalls, then he would work on being accepting of them as well. He would start a list of topics to share with his therapist when they got home, pending he didn't have anything else to do 'cause that would take up quite a bit of his time.

"I would also like to get some lubricants," she said as Callen took the box from her.

Now _that_ was something he understood buying. As they walked down the aisle, another dolphin came into his peripheral vision. After taking a few more steps he stopped and turned back to look at the box that had caught his attention.

 _Diving Dolphin Love Ring_

He immediately knew that was for a man. Or again, good Lord, for a woman with a strap-on.

"Come on," Katie called as she noticed he was no longer beside her.

He didn't answer as he took the box from the shelf and walked towards her, his hands and arm carrying their purchases.

"What is that?" she asked.

"Flipper's friend."

She couldn't help but laugh at the reference and the smirk on his face showed her that he was loosening up in his own, unique way. She wanted to know what had changed his mind but decided that she would leave the questioning alone and just enjoy the fact he was somewhat happily participating in her procurement of items.

Callen saw she had gotten the few items she wanted and although much more relaxed than when he entered the store, he was relieved they were leaving. And anxious to try out _all_ their new purchases.

The drive home was quiet until the Jaguar took a detour that had them not going in the direction of their home.

"What are we doing at the Marina?" Katie asked as Callen pulled up in front of a boat shed.

"Showing you where I work."

Her eyes widened as his face remained expressionless. As they entered the boat shed, Katie took in her surroundings, pleasantly surprised at the tastefulness of the décor.

"So this is where you bring suspects?" she asked looking at the kitchenette and comfortable looking sofa. It didn't look intimidating based on what she had seen in movies and on television.

"They don't see this part," he answered.

"So what do they see?" she asked hesitantly.

He took her hand and showed her the door in which they enter with suspects and the hall they take to the interrogation room.

"This is more like it," Katie announced as she stood near the trapped door on the floor. "I hear waves close by."

Callen gestured to her feet and Katie noticed the hinges. Her mind went back to the James Bond movie, _License to Kill_ and the scene in the boat shed where the Agent was fed to a shark.

"Do you … put people down there?" She was torn between being horrified and interested.

"Haven't had to … yet. But it has come in handy a few times for me and the team."

"Let's go," he said and he extended his hand to her. Callen led the way back to the open, less intimidating, area and then to a set of stairs.

"Is this the torture room?" she asked half joking.

"The opposite. It's our safe room. Reinforced walls, a safe with weapons and behind that wall, an emergency supply kit."

"Have you had to use this room?"

"Too keep people in our custody safe. But I also used to live here."

"You lived here?"

"For a about three months when I was in between places. I slept on that bed and well you saw the rest of the amenities. There's a full bathroom downstairs as well."

"Thank you for sharing this with me." She didn't know what else to say.

"I'm slowly trying to share my past with you. So many things happened but living here was a low point for me. It's a reminder of how far I've come."

She pulled him into a hug that lasted longer than intended. Feelings of safeness and love filled them as well as the knowledge that a future filled with moments like this, awaited them both.

G. Callen was now taking two steps forward and seeking help to cope with the one step backwards.


	7. Two Empty Seats

**Chapter 7 – Two Empty Seats**

* * *

 _Hanna House, Thanksgiving_

"Mom, can I have more gravy for my turkey please?" Rachel asked her mom.

"Yes you _may_." Michelle poured it for her daughter and then asked Katie if she wanted some.

Katie shook her head, "No thank you."

The celebration of all that they were thankful for was overshadowed by the two empty seats at the Hanna dining room table.

"When are daddy and Uncle G coming home?"

That was the third time in two days that Rachel had asked her mom the question there wasn't an answer for.

"I don't know. And neither does Katie, so don't ask her."

The inactive CIA Officer was used to unexpected work assignments for her husband but as Rachel got older, his absences were more notable to their daughter. They ate the rest of their meal engaging in conversations about various things. After the table was cleared, except for the two untouched plates, Katie suggested Rachel get a board game they could all play.

"I love Callen but this worrying is going to give me premature grey hairs," Katie said apprehensively as she helped load the dishwasher.

"It's hard," Michelle said as she put soap in the dispenser, closed the door, then pushed the start button.

The often-gut wrenching worry, after days of not knowing whether he would come home to her in one piece or in a body bag, was the most difficult part of being in a relationship with G. Callen. Even his challenges to deal with and accept his past as being a part of who he was, didn't compare to the worrying. The daily bullet dodging he encountered wasn't as worrisome the dreaded unknown. She knew he had the best Agents watching his back but undercover assignments often meant he was alone. The current assignment was surveillance so that lessened the worry (but not enough to keep her from talking to Michelle about it) as did the fact that she (and Michelle) knew Callen and Sam were together. Emails from Hetty about the Senior Agent's situation weren't always sent. Katie so desperately wanted to ask Callen why but this was one of those things where Katie would have to take what she could get. Protecting National Security was more pertinent than her feelings.

As the women walked to the living room awaiting Rachel's return with a board game, Michelle took the opportunity to offer Katie some new advice.

"I've known Callen for several years and never have I seen him this happy. Then she said the words Katie didn't realize she had needed to hear. "Whatever it is that you are doing in your relationship, keep doing it." She paused a moment to take a sip of her drink, "It's working." The older woman could see her words had Katie thinking. Before Katie could say anything, Rachel appeared before them with the game _Sorry._ "

"This is the SpongeBob version. Squidward is my favourite character."

The three women played the game with a little more enthusiasm than they ate their dinner with as their pieces were bumped off the board and forced to start again. Thoughts of the two empty seats faded, but didn't disappear, and that was welcomed by the two women and young girl whose husband, future husband and father were out protecting the metropolis they lived in.

Shortly after nine o'clock, Rachel went to bed and Katie helped Michelle put away the two unused place settings. The hope of Sam Callen making it home _on_ Thanksgiving had vanished. Just as Katie was about to thank Michelle for dinner, her phone beeped alerting her of a text message. Then Michelle's beeped. The women looked at each other with the same big smiles. Their men would be home in twenty minutes.

"Thank you for having me over," Katie said as she gave Michelle a hug. "And the reassuring words."

"We both enjoyed having you and like I told you before, I'm here if you want to talk."

Katie nodded, said "Good Night" and walked to her car, the eagerness to get home, overwhelming – but this time, in a good way.

* * *

Callen's car in the driveway relieved the anxiousness that had stayed with Katie during her drive home. As she opened the door she noticed his bag wasn't in its spot. Then she heard his voice.

"I was repacking it," Callen said as he lifted the bag.

Katie didn't care that those words meant he would be dodging bullets next time he went to work. He was home, safe and with her. Shoes were left on as she hurried towards him in the archway between the living room and hallway.

He dropped the bag to his feet before wrapping his arms around her. As the hug ended, their eyes lit up, conveying love in the peaceful silence surrounding them. Lips were soon touching, then tongues, causing sensations neither wanted to end. But not wanting to have sex in the hallway, Katie sidestepped his bag as she led him to their bedroom where Callen eyed the sex toys on the dresser that were now in see-through plastic bags.

"I cleaned them, put in new batteries and made sure they worked. I wanted to try them together," Katie said after seeing the questioning look on his face.

He picked up both bags and set them on the edge of the bed before they started undressing each other. Katie halted the passionate moment.

"Not tonight," she said as she placed the sex toys back on the dresser. "Just us."

Having no problem with that, Callen resumed the tantalizing form of foreplay of undressing each other. As hands and mouths met body parts that had craved attention while he was away and proclamations of love were said.

After laying Katie down on her back and nestling his upper body between her legs, Katie verbally approved. "I like your thinking."

Katie's response was a welcome sound to Callen's ears as she wasn't always receptive to oral sex being performed on her and often offered to preform it instead. He respected her feelings but at times like this, he wanted to reciprocate the distinct pleasure she had often given him. Not just tell her, but show her how sexy and beautiful all of her was to him. It had gotten to a point that Callen asked Katie if he wasn't doing it right and that's why she didn't want him doing it. Katie reassured him that his hands and mouth were very capable of pleasuring her _down there_ but reminded him that it _is_ different for women and some, like her, aren't always comfortable with that act of intimacy.

Soft kisses on her inner thighs had Katie letting go of any inhibitions she might have had. The softness of his tongue on the skin around the patch of course hair sent her legs upward to his head and then back down, her feet digging into the side of his torso. A low, throaty moan told her he liked her movements. As his five senses honed in on her body, he let go of the guilt that he had missed Thanksgiving. And moments later it was Katie letting go as an orgasm rolled through her body and her vocal cords emitted a sound that had Callen smiling.

The feeling of knowing he was safe in her arms overshadowed (momentarily) the hotness of his mouth leaving traces of moisture over her breasts. Gazing into his eyes as his hand moved across her flesh, kneading breasts, tracing the outline of her lips and then circling around her belly button, Katie saw things she would never hear. The unspoken pains associated with his work, the unsaid traumas of his childhood and the secrets he kept guarded to protect her. It was after their conversation about the Christmas card from a prisoner that got Katie thinking about what it was that Callen wasn't telling her about his 'admirer'. Serving life sentences that would have Janvier never seeing the light of day confused Katie as to why Callen was worried about receiving the card. But having been a long-time watcher of movies that often-involved prisons, Katie knew that the reach of prisoners could be as great on the inside as it was when they were in society. But what could an inmate at one of the world's most secure prisons do to Callen? _Or her?_ Being aware of Callen's true identity, observations of his acute attention to his surroundings and an expertise in skills many people could only dream about achieving, , Katie chose to accept that no harm would come to Callen, or her, at the hands of this crazy criminal.

The man he was when her legs were wrapped around his waist, their bodies connecting as one, was the man she would embrace. The safeness he brought to her life, the encouragement of pursuing her career in the direction _she_ wanted it to go and him adapting to living a part of his life where criminals don't outshine law-abiding citizens.

* * *

"I'm thinking that what we just did is proof that _absence makes the heart grow fonder_ ," Callen said as he lay exhausted on his back, Katie resting her head on his chest.

"I agree," she replied with a soft kiss to his abdomen.

They laid in silence for several minutes, recuperating after a whirlwind of various sexual positions taxed their energy.

"I don't understand why people get upset that their partner falls asleep after sex," Katie said, her thoughts going back to the second orgasm she had right before Callen's body trembled with pleasure. "I mean, it's a compliment, you know?"

"I know what you mean. Right now, I could close my eyes and wake up in the morning. But I missed holding and talking to you more, so sleep can wait."

"Awe, that's a sweet thing to say. But you know how much I need my beauty sleep so I can't promise how long I will be awake."

That wouldn't be a bad thing for Callen as he often watched Katie sleep for a few minutes when he woke before her. He found himself envious of her non-restless sleeps and took those moments to appreciate that although his sleep was far from what he wanted it to be, it had improved since they started living together.

"I have an appointment to see a therapist on Tuesday."

Katie turned to face him, "That's great."

"Dr. Gerrard. She was a police officer with LAPD for ten years before she decided to go back to school and is now working with those in Law Enforcement."

Katie was relieved that he could finally talk to someone who could relate to the challenges of being in his line of work.

"You'll always be my favourite therapist though," he said with a kiss to the tip of her nose.

"And you'll always be my favourite client."

"So, what do you want to do tomorrow?" Callen asked as they both had Friday off work.

"I have plans with Taryn and Vita. We're going for manicures and pedicures. And maybe a little waxing," she replied as she pointed to her eyebrows.

"I didn't know Taryn and Vita knew each other."

"They don't."

"How about we go out for breakfast? We can go over what needs to be done for our party." Callen asked, slightly disappointed that Katie had plans but also relieved that she continued to maintain the social life she had before she met him.

"Actually, we're meeting at nine for breakfast. But I should be home around three, or sooner. I'd love burgers on the Barbecue. And I have everything planned for the party, with a special list just for you."

"Done, and Katie?"

"Yeah?"

"I hope you know how much I appreciate everything you do."

"I do and you know how much I love planning things and making lists." Her voice was quiet as not to stir up any feelings Callen had about missing Thanksgiving. She was going to say that she needed to keep busy while he was away but refrained as Michelle's words echoed in her head. _"Whatever it is that you are doing in your relationship, keep doing it."_ Callen and Katie had their intense moments but one thing Katie tried to remain conscious about was that she wasn't the only one who worried when Callen was on undercover assignments. Several weeks ago he had voiced his concern about her. Even though she wasn't in anywhere near the high risk situations he was, something could still happen to her and it was possible that word wouldn't get to him for days.

He pulled her tightly against his body. "At least there's one thing I won't ever have to talk about in therapy."

"What's that?"

"How much we love and respect each other."

"That's what keeps me focused when I'm in therapy," Katie said before she closed her eyes, sleep soon coming after that.

Callen closed his eyes but his mind was still awake. It took about thirty seconds before yet another forward moving consideration came to him. He could act on it while Katie was out with her friends but first he had to contact his friend Ellie. He hoped that Ellie had received her invitation to their Christmas Open House/House Warming Party because he was apprehensive about going back on his promise that she and Katie would meet _before_ he asked for Ellie's assistance again. But then he couldn't help but smile as he knew the older woman would relish in being a part of Callen's upcoming jewelry purchase.

* * *

The morning air was still cool but that didn't keep Callen from taking his coffee out on the deck and making his call to Ellie while Katie was still asleep. He had thought of going back to the store where he bought her family ring but he wanted a very specific ring style and Ellie was in the know of most everything when it came to this type of thing. At first she only planned events with knowledge on what she needed but as her clientele grew, their needs became more diverse.

 _\ "I know just the place. I'll text it to you. Oh, and Callen, thanks for the party invite. I'll be coming."/_

"You're the best Ellie.

 _\" Don't forget that when you're planning the wedding."/_

Callen ended the call and had a moment of unease. He wasn't sure if Katie would want someone else planning their wedding. Well, that's if she said yes to his proposal. Then another wave of unrest settled in. The where of the proposal was in his mind but he had no idea how to go about making it reality. He scrolled through his contacts until he got to the N's.

 _\" Hey Callen, what's up? /"_ Nell asked, surprised to hear from him on their day off.

"Sorry to bother you but I need to run something personal by you as I think it will need your skills to execute it."

Nell listened and assured her co-worker and friend that she would make it happen but it would have to wait until Monday as she was out of town. He thanked her and the sigh he let out felt good as he was now fueled with oodles optimism.

"Good morning handsome," Katie announced as she joined him on the deck with a cup of tea.

"Good morning beautiful." He turned his head to meet her lips when she leaned down to kiss him.

As he glanced at the time on his phone, a text came through with the name of the jeweler. He replied with a thank you and a smiley face.

"Someone is in a good mood this morning." The smile on his face was projecting the happiness she loved to see.

"Rachel sent me a joke." Little white lies were necessary at times. And since the young girl was often up at sunrise, Katie had no reason to question the youngest Hanna sending a text at that time.

"She sure does love making her Uncle G laugh." After taking another sip of her tea, Katie closed her eyes and listened to the quiet. "I'm gonna to miss this quiet time in the mornings, just the two of us."

Callen's raised eyebrows silently questioned her meaning.

"After we have kids."

 _Was that Katie's not so subtle way of saying she was expecting a marriage proposal so they could start a family after that?_

He didn't care if it was. Callen stood, looked down at her with wonderment and came back with, "That's what friends and family are for. Babysitting while we sleep in. It'll be a rare occurrence but one we will greatly appreciate when it does happen."

"And what would we have been doing that would have us sleeping in?" Her eyes helped convey the playfulness of her words.

"What got us the kids."

They both smiled before Katie asked, "Where are you off to?" She wasn't being nosey, just curious as to where he was going so early in the morning.

"Just a few errands. I'll be back before you. Have fun." Another kiss, this one a few seconds longer took place. The warmth of her lips on his was a feeling he knew he couldn't live without. As he retrieved his wallet from the bedroom, his optimism about learning to let go of more of his past and live more in the present, increased.

* * *

Callen programmed _Blue Nile Jewelers_ into the Jag's GPS before heading out to purchase an engagement ring for Katie. He had an image in his mind of what she would like and what he wanted to give her. Thankfully, they were similar. He'd 'heard' there was a _rule_ about spending two months of his earnings on an engagement ring. After doing some calculations he couldn't quite bring himself to pay that for something to sit on Katie's finger - even if she was the most important person in his life. And for that amount, insurance would need to be considered. But most importantly, Katie would have his balls in a sling if she became aware of the dollar value she was carrying around with her every day. As he approached the store he reminded himself one month's pay was what he was going to spend. One month. If he couldn't get something in that price range, he would have to rethink the design.

An older man, probably in his sixties, greeted the now slightly perspiring Callen as he walked in the store. Ellie certainly was the woman in the know. It was a small shop with only rings and one sales person. Out of habit, the Special Agent looked around the establishment and noted the security cameras and alarms on the cases. He felt a tinge of awkwardness as he informed the sales man of his name and that he was a friend of Ellie's. He was accustomed to name dropping while working but this was personal. No mention of her last name was needed. The older gentleman in a blue shirt, somewhat matching tie and black pants, smiled and offered his hand and name. Raffie. Callen returned the gesture as his body relaxed.

It wasn't an upscale store like those in Beverly Hills and given the leather jacket, dark blue buttoned down shirt and somewhat faded jeans he was wearing, Callen couldn't help but appreciate Ellie's recommendation. Raffi asked Callen what he was looking for in way of gems and price range. After Callen relayed the information, Raffie nodded and scanned the case to his right. He then took the keys from his pocket and carefully opened the glass door. There were at least thirty rings in Callen's sight-line, all of which were all stunning. How was he going to choose _one?_ Raffie then asked Callen a few questions about Katie to narrow down the selection. The questions were a bit odd to Callen but he had to trust that the longtime salesman knew what he was doing. When Raffie asked the final question of what colour Katie's eyes were, Callen's very surprised looked didn't go unnoticed by the older man. After Callen answered, Raffie hesitated a moment before he reached in and pulled out a _Garland Sapphire and Diamond Engagement Ring._

A platinum band held a sequence of sapphire (that bore an uncanny resemblance to the shade of Katie's eyes), two diamonds side-by-side, sapphire, two diamonds side-by-side, a one carrot classic cut diamond in the center and the sapphire and diamond pattern repeated on the other side of the large diamond.

Raffie saw the very interested look in Callen's eyes so he turned the price tag to face his customer. Callen was mesmerized that he was going to buy the first ring he was shown. But as he put the ring on his pinky finger to get a feel for what it would look like, Raffie smiled and said that it would look much better on a woman's hand. Callen chuckled as he couldn't get it passed his knuckle. His vision to buy a ring that reflected Katie's beauty, inside and out, had been accomplished.

"You're right. It _will_ look better on her finger. _Sold_."


	8. Diamonds Aren't A Girl's Best Friend

**Chapter 8 - Diamonds Aren't a Girl's Best Friend**

The excitement Callen had arrived home with disappeared as he stared at the blue velvet box in his right hand. The well-intentioned plan to propose in Aruba abruptly had another complication. Where would he keep the ring until then and how would he get it to Aruba without Katie seeing it? He certainly wouldn't put it in his checked baggage. For his own piece of mind, the ring would have to stay on his person. Then there would be a few days before he would take Katie to the place Nell was arranging for him. The pit of his stomach tightened as he opened the safe where he stored his gun and placed the small box inside, closed the lid and locked it.

Finally accepting that his plan wasn't going to pan out, Callen called Nell and informed her that he wouldn't be needing her services after all. After a long pause Callen assured her the proposal was still on but not in Aruba. Originally the plan was to take Katie away for a weekend to a place on the coast with a _hammock_ , a _sunset_ , and a _secluded cove_ but time was scarce this time of year to do that. So, then with Nell's help he was going to arrange that in Aruba. He took a deep breath, slowly exhaled and refocused his mind as he made his way to the kitchen. As he busied himself with preparing the food for a barbecue dinner, his thoughts were again consumed with ideas on where he could propose to Katie. The ideas that came to him weren't appealing. The beach where they went on their first date. Not original. Fancy restaurant with strangers around them. Extremely impersonal. At their house-warming party with friends and family? Again, very impersonal. Christmas? No. He didn't want the focus to be taken from the holiday.

A text from Katie informed Callen that he had less than thirty minutes before she returned home. Dinner was prepped, and he was eager to spend time with her but the daunting task of figuring out where and when he could propose, made that earlier formed knot in his stomach even tighter.

As Callen laid back on the outdoor chaise lounge for two, he welcomed the sound of neighbourhood children playing as a distraction to his consuming thoughts. Childhood memories flashed through his mind as he heard the distant laughter and words of "You're it". He had been a smaller than average child but when it came to playing tag, he surprised people, young and old, with his agility and speed. Another fond memory pushed forward as the wooden swing dangling from the tree moved gently in the breeze. He didn't have the heart to remove it when the landscapers did the back yard after building the deck. Alaina had often pushed him on that swing after school. The sounds of laughter that came with that memory were too precious (and scarce from his childhood) to not have a visual reminder of them. His body was soon relaxing as was his mind. And then suddenly Callen sat up with a jolt. He knew where and when his marriage proposal to Katie would take place.

* * *

"Hey there," Katie said as she walked out on the deck and immediately noticed the pleased look on his face.

Standing up, he gave her a quick kiss and took the large bag from her arm.

"We did a little shopping afterwards," she said with a hint of guilt for impulsively spending money.

Callen grinned and asked what she bought.

"It's for you," she replied as she reached in the bag and pulled out a leather gym bag. "An early birthday present."

"Very nice," he said as she handed him the bag and he admired the softness of the material. As he turned it around he noticed a capital "G" on a tag attached to the strap.

"I know you like the bag you have. This isn't meant to replace it. Consider it a spare in case you want a change."

He placed the bag back into the large store bag and embraced Katie with both arms. "Thank you for the beautiful gift."

"You're welcome. I know you said you didn't want anything but when I saw it, I swear it was calling me to buy it."

"Talking gym bag, really?"

A warm smile played on Katie's lips as Callen pulled her closer. "You hungry?" he asked.

"Yes," she replied.

"I'll fire up the grill."

"I'll put the bag in your closest and then I need to change. Be right back."

As Callen lit the barbecue, he felt an inner peacefulness that had been a long time coming. A true, inner peace that can't be explained but only felt. Life was still complex at times but moments like this with Katie, at home, just hanging out, were the foundation of that peace. When Katie came back outside Callen had already brought out the salad and fruit bowls for them to eat while the burgers were cooking.

"This looks good," Katie said as she scooped some salad onto her plate.

"I know you're not keeping track, but I owed you a dinner for not being here on Wednesday."

Callen's attempt to make up for missing his day off (and Thanksgiving) was bitter sweet. She was grateful for his modern views on things like making meals for them but she also knew the struggle for him to balance his personal life with work was on going and would most likely continue until he retired. It was important to him to be as invested in their relationship as she was. And for that, she was grateful.

"If the burgers taste as good as they smell I might have two," Katie replied as she put dressing on her salad.

Callen gave her a knowing smirk as Katie _never_ ate two burgers. He too was grateful for their similar views on life in general, but it was Katie's acceptance of him as G. Callen (past, present and future) that had him doubtless she would stand by him, always and forever.

They finished their meal as they talked about various things and when Callen brought out a raspberry & chocolate cheesecake from Katie's favourite bakery, her eyes widened in delight.

"You keep going there and we will need to have sex _every day_ to help burn off these calories."

No sassy comment or smirk came from Callen as he cut another piece and offered it to her.

* * *

Katie insisted on cleaning up as Callen had cooked the meal. He took the opportunity to put on a fresh shirt & obtain the ring from his gun safe. He had no doubt she would say yes but he was still apprehensive about his wording of the proposal. What he planned to say had been rehearsed for a few months but now that it was 'show time' his memory of everything was foggy. As he walked out on the deck, his mind started to settle. There laid Katie on the lounger for two, under a blanket and two mugs of steaming tea on the table.

"Come join me," she said as she pulled the blanket back.

The dim light from the outside lanterns was romantic but he still needed a few more moments to gain his composure.

The flick of the outside light startled Katie.

"What are you doing? Turn it off, it's too bright."

"I have something to show you and you'll be able to see it better with this light."

Katie was annoyed as she just wanted Callen to join her and spend some time cuddling as the sky darkened and the moon was on its ascent into the sky. "Fine. Just hurry up."

Joining her on the lounger, his positioned his legs over the edge with his upper body facing her. Callen pulled the box from his jean's pocket and used the acceptance that he had never been more certain of anything in his life as the lead-in to his proposal.

"I've had a lot of uncertainties in my life but sharing the rest of my life with you isn't one of them."

Katie's eyes widened as she stared at the box.

As he opened it, Katie caught a glimpse of the dark blue gems and the bright, outside light made the diamonds glimmer. Then as he continued to speak, their eyes met with an unprecedented intensity.

Everything else he had planned to say was now redundant. "Kathryn, will you be my wife?"

She didn't mean to hesitate, but she did. He had totally caught her by surprise.

When his eyebrows raised, the questioning look prompted her response.

"Yes."

Callen gently took her hand and placed the ring on her right hand's ring finger.

"It's stunning," Katie said as she took in the elegant beauty of the ring and the realization that she would be marrying the man she loved with all her being. And who loved her to the end of the Earth.

"Your hesitation there had me worried for a moment," he said with a half-smile as Katie's gaze went from her ring to his eyes.

Tears were welling in Katie's eyes as she pointed to them. "I … oh my … I'm sorry. I …"

Although the location wasn't as planned, he was confident that he had made the right choice to propose at their home.

"I love you Katie," Callen said as he felt a few tears enter his own eyes.

"And I love you Callen. Now kiss me."

"Still one of my most favourite things to do."

"Please turn that light off first," Katie requested as she leaned back, wiped her lips and watched Callen walk across the deck. His physical appearance was the first of his many layers of beauty. Compassion, loyalty, genuine maleness and his role as protector, were just a few layers that assured Katie that she was with the man she would spend the rest of her life with.

With the light turned off, Callen got under the blanket, pulled Katie on top of him and proceeded to kiss his fiancé.

* * *

It hadn't been the intention to remove their clothes outside but it happened. With shirts gone, mutual nipple play ensued. The cool air heightened Katie's arousal as Callen's mouth was attentive with each breast. It wasn't until he took a breast in each hand and massaged the soft flesh with a firmness that had Katie squirming below him, _begging_ for more.

Callen drew back as he put his fingers on Katie's lips and mouthed " _Listen_ ". The Special Agent's keen awareness of his surroundings had alerted him to movement in the neighbour's back yard. Katie nodded as they put their shirts back on and went inside.

Katie was blushing slightly, as she undressed and got into bed, wondering if the neighbour's had heard her moans of pleasure. But that thought quickly disappeared as Callen entered the bedroom, picked up the sex toys from the dresser and handed her the pair of _diving dolphins_. Having read the instructions, Katie gave a quick tutorial for both item's uses. He still couldn't believe he was about to put a dolphin shaped cock ring on. With all the advancements in technology this century, why were there wires on sex toys?

Glances between them were exchanged as Callen adjusted the blue and white mammal so that its nose was centered.

"What? I want to make sure the nose gets you in the right spot."

"You were adamant about not wearing one of those."

"Yeah, well I changed my mind," he said as the vibrations on his tesitcles started to tingle in a pleasant way. "Did you see the other thing they had? It's was a hallow tube with straps. That wasn't going anywhere near me. And besides, this is a _love_ ring _._ "

"I like this one, it's cute," she said as she reached out and touched the nose, then lightly moved her finger down the length of his erection.

"I don't think cute will be your word of choice when I'm done with you."

"You'll never be done with me."

"Touché," he replied.

"So how should we do this? she asked.

Callen was feeling brazen, "Well, we have two dolphins and two holes."

A part of Katie's body responded with a tightening of the muscles.

"Technically _we_ have _three_ holes.

It was Callen's turn to clench some muscles.

"Let's try them out individually so we get used to how they feel and learn what settings we like", Katie said as she turned on her toy and placed it between her legs.

Callen's eyes widened. Watching a beautiful and confident woman maneuver a sex toy to a position that made her _moan_ was something Callen had never witnessed until he met Katie. And it was a sight he would never tire of seeing. Alluring was the first word that came to him but then as her hips began to rise off the bed and her legs spread, the only words in his vocabulary were _Hot. As. Fuck._ He climbed into bed next to her and laid on his back. His erection, with the toy at the base, was now the focus of Katie's attention.

"Stroke it," she commanded as she turned up the pulse on her vibrating toy.

It wasn't long before Katie felt her body tense as the rotating beads vibrated her inner core and the mammal's nose on her clitoris took her over the edge. Callen slowed his strokes and waited a few moments for his fiancé to enjoy the euphoria her body had just endured.

"Give me a moment and then we'll see what you can do with your dolphin," Katie said as she placed hers on the nightstand.

A few moments later Katie got off the bed and leaned over the edge. The wait was worth it. Callen (and his dolphin friend) stood behind Katie, eager to begin.

Already well lubricated, Callen slid in to Katie like butter melting on a hot knife. Enticed by the position, her warmth and added stimulation from the sex toy, he reached for the tube of lubricant on the bed. Oh, how she loved when he added _this_ form of stimulation. The coolness of the gel heated the fire burning within her as she awaited his touch. He needn't ask if she was okay as the soft moans of pleasure spoke for her. Katie wasn't the only one in their relationship who could multi task and Callen's only regret now was that he had been such an ass when his lover suggested going to an Adult Store. His movements were slow at first as Katie adjusted to the third form of stimulation from his middle finger. Neither of them were comfortable with objects penetrating such a delicate part of the body but after experimenting both agreed that a finger wasn't an object.

With his free hand, thanks to the dual action device strapped on him, he placed his right hand on her hip and moved in a slow, steady rhythm. Every movement brought him not only closer to his climax but to his new future as a husband and eventually, as a father. What seemed like an endless journey, of longing to love and be loved unconditionally, was now over. Thrusts of his dick into her warmth, as his finger pressed against the equivalent of her G-Spot, along with clitoral stimulation from the toy, created an unprecedented feeling in Katie.

A few strands of blonde hair had fallen from Katie's up-sweep and Callen stopped, moved the strands aside, and leaned down to whisper in her ear, "What do you want?"

Katie's response added a little more love to Callen's heart for the woman he was going to spent the rest of his life with.

 _"Come with me._

As much as he wanted to stay in their current position, seeing her face was something he needed so he said "On the bed". He laid down on his back and carefully observed Katie's actions as she slowly crept her way up the length of his body. The vibrations of the sex toy still pulsating, the passion between them intense, the skin to skin contact causing a pleasant friction as she sank down on him, breaths of passion filling the air. Katie's focused turned to pleasuring Callen with various movements of leisurely moving up and down to a fast but steady impalement that cause her breasts to move in a way that Callen _very_ much appreciated.

Katie then settled in to where the toy's nose gave her sweet spot the stimulation she would need, in conjunction with Callen's upward thrusts of his hips. Their faces close, words of encouragement and love mingling with their breaths, Callen's grip on his fiancé tightened. Letting go wasn't an option until the built up (pleasurable) tension was first released by Callen, then Katie.

* * *

"Can we skip the next three weeks and go straight to Aruba?" Katie asked as they enjoyed a late-night snack of tea and cookies in the living room.

Callen smiled as he had been thinking something similar.

"I love Christmas and I'm looking forward to spending time with our friends and family but the time we have together, just the two of us, I love that even more."

"After two weeks of sun, sex and sand you may wish for something else."

Katie's face and tone were serious, "I will never wish for anything but time with you."

As soon as the words left her mouth she realized how they might be interpreted but Callen understood and pulled her in for a hug. "That's one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me."

* * *

 _Two Weeks Later_

"The decorations look amazing," Katie said as she and Callen sat on the couch admiring their crafty styles to putting up Christmas decorations while waiting for guests to arrive for their Christmas Open House/House Warming/Engagement Party announcement. "I'm glad we didn't keep it simple."

Strands of coloured indoor lights adorned the door frames and room openings with mistletoe hanging near the front door. Other Christmas and Winter pieces were placed on surfaces around the main living areas. On the mantle above the fireplace, a pair of glass snow people on skates and Santa Clause in a wooden sleigh, with the magical bag of toys slung over his shoulder, were placed on either side of a homemade Christmas tree made by Katie when she was seven. The center piece of the decorations was a five-foot Blue Spruce tree in front of the living room window. Modern white lights along with decorations from Katie's childhood and recently purchased items gave the rooms the festive feel they had wanted. The festivness also stirred up emotions in Katie that she still struggled with at times, especially on holiday's.

"It's days like this that are bitter sweet."

Callen pulled her closer to his side and kissed the top of her head knowing her struggles were as real as his. Maybe not as eccentric, but as real.

"Thank you for understanding about waiting until today to announce our engagement. I wanted to tell the world but I needed to tell my mom and Michelle first."

Callen had been very understanding when she mentioned it the night he proposed and then together, they visited both memorial sites that weekend. "I haven't said anything before but I've been to my sister's grave a few times to talk to her."

"It helps, doesn't it?"

"More than I thought it would," Callen replied as he glanced at his watch. "I'll take you there one day."

Katie just nodded because as much as she wanted to be there with him, it was a stark reminder of the loses they shared.

It was time to lighten the mood so Callen mentioned Arkady Kolcheck. "Arkady texted me earlier to confirm he was coming today."

"I can't wait to meet him," Katie said enthusiastically.

"He can take some getting used to Kates."

"I'm sure I'll like him. Any friend of yours, is a friend of mine."

Arkady's eccentric ways and often dry sense of humour had him wondering how she would react. Callen didn't think the distinguished, grey-haired Russian would come to his house for a social event. But he was somewhat pleasantly surprised when the confirmation came.

Callen glanced at his watch. "We have twenty minutes before the first guest should arrive."

Katie had drifted off into her thoughts as she held up her ring. "Diamonds aren't a girl's best friend," she announced.

" _What?"_

"That song, Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend?"

He nodded.

"I had one best friend growing up."

Callen couldn't relate to that.

"Then I lost her."

Callen could relate to that kind of loss.

"I never thought I would have that same connection with someone again. But I do."

Callen shifted his body to look in to her eyes knowing she meant him.

"It's okay, I know Sam is _your_ best friend."

"Yes he is. I trust him with my life and the lives of the people we work with. But I trust _you_ with everything else."

If that didn't say Katie was Callen's best (non-work related) friend, she didn't know what could.


	9. F is for Family & Friends

**Chapter 9 – F is Friends, Family & For Fuck's Sake! **

* * *

_Callen & Katie's Home_

The sound of Christmas music playing in the background added to the festivities as guests mingled.

Katie approached Callen who was taking two cold beers from the fridge.

"Why is there a man in a suit standing outside our front door?"

"He's with Arkady."

Katie blocked his exit from the kitchen with her body. "That didn't answer my question."

"I think it did." His curtness didn't go over well with Katie. "Please move as guests are waiting for their drinks." He held up the beers in his right hand.

Katie decided to let it go _until …_.

"He's Arkady's bodyguard and he's not coming in my house."

 _"Your house?"_

"Technically it is my house. And your house. I don't have to check with you about everything that goes on here."

 _No, you don't, she thought. And neither do I._

"I guess you're not going to tell me _why_ Arkady has a bodyguard. Or do I really _not_ want to know?"

"You don't want to know."

She nodded and moved her body so he could pass. Then she went straight for the front door, opened it and introduced herself to the young man in the well-tailored suit. Katie didn't give the man, probably a few years older than her, a chance to offer his name before she invited him inside.

"I don't think that's a good idea," the tall, muscular man replied as he had clued in that Katie was Callen's girlfriend. He had heard Arkady and Callen talking a few times when Callen visited his friend's home and the young woman's name had been mentioned. She raised her eyebrows in question. "And I don't think Agent Callen would like that."

"You don't need to worry about _Agent Callen_. Please, come in, have a drink and something to eat." Katie noticed the bulge of the firearm under the man's jacket and the end of it showed when he had turned to face her.

The warmness in Katie's voice and friendliness in her eyes were impossible to say no to.

It wasn't long before Callen spotted the unwanted guest and approached him. But before he could meet the larger man's eyes with his, Katie stopped him in his tracks.

"It's Christmas."

Callen wasn't about to argue in front of their guests. "One drink and a plate of food that he can take outside."

Arkady's employee overheard the host's comment and retreated towards the door after obtaining a plate of meatballs in honey garlic sauce, a slice of garlic bread and a glass of non-spiked punch.

Callen watched the man leave and then eyed Katie. She averted his gaze as she made her way outside to the deck and join guests who had gathered there. She was right. It was Christmas and not like he hadn't ever met Rico. He was as loyal to Arkady as he (Callen) was to Sam.

The now distracted host glanced at this watch and decided it was time for him and Katie to make their announcement. And for him to apologize for his not so gracious manners with Rico.

The couple met in their bedroom after Callen had given her the pre-arranged signal.

"The party is turning out well," Katie said as Callen handed her the ring box.

"Yeah, it's good seeing everyone outside of work."

Katie sensed some under lying issue as he fiddled with the box she handed back to him.

"What is it?" she asked as she sat on the bench at the end of the bed and he joined her. The bench had been purchased for storage of blankets and pillows but somehow it had become a fascination with Callen when they copulated in the bedroom.

He sat beside her and was hesitant to get into what was bothering him given they had almost two dozen guests in their home. But he needed to voice something that had been nagging at him for several months.

"All of my friends are people I work with or are associated with my work. And as for family, same thing goes for that. You have friends from various times of your life. We both have similar family situations so I know you get the uniqueness of that but as for friends, it really hit me tonight with everyone here that _my_ _friend base_ as Grisha Callen, is nonexistent."

"Kevin and Vita are your friends. And so is Mike."

"Friends I have because of you."

"And I have new friends _and family_ because of _you_."

He closed his eyes and covered them with his hands. "It must be exhausting for you. One thing after another that triggers something from my past.

"A bit overwhelming at times but definitely not exhausting. And Callen? Love is patient."

Callen took comfort (again) in Katie's ability to reassure him with so few words. "Seeing Rico was a stark reminder that no matter how hard I try to separate my work and personal lives, I can't. Somehow they will always be connected. My therapist said it will take time to accept that. Truly accept it."

"She's right. And try to put a positive spin on it. You didn't think you had friends as Grisha Callen but saying something allowed you to see that it wasn't true." Katie took his hand and gently squeezed it, "We should to get back to our party and make our announcement."

* * *

With the French doors between the living room and dining room open, there was enough room for the guests to gather as Rachel handed out sealed envelopes. Katie glanced at the table and made a mental note to (intimately) thank Callen for arranging the catered food and drinks. After having given him his 'to do list' for the party, Katie had been pleasantly surprised when she received a text message confirming the date from _Melinda's Catering_. And then she received a text message from Callen, both lists combined with _All taken care of –G_ at the end _._ The best part of catering was that the set up and clean up were taken care of by someone other than her and Callen.

"Thank you all for coming. And thank you to _Melinda's Catering_ for the wonderful food and drinks," Callen said as Rachel handed out the last envelope.

Rachel was getting impatient to see what was in her envelope. "Can we open our envelopes _now_ Aunt Katie?"

Katie and Callen nodded their heads in agreement. They didn't just want to blurt out they were getting married but didn't want to drag out the announcement either. As the sound of the envelopes ripping filled the air, Katie removed the cover from the cake and was taken aback by what she saw. It wasn't her sketch she gave to the bakery but an even better one. Instead of three separate areas for the three things they were celebrating, the baker created a scene incorporating them. A line of green and red royal icing lights was strewn across the front of a house with a Christmas tree (topped with an angel) peeking up from behind a window. The front door had two rings looped together through an angel's wing and the edge of the cake was outlined in red, green and white icing rosebuds. Katie knew where she would be going for their wedding cake.

Congratulations were given to the newly engaged couple after "Save the Date" cards were read and notice was taken to Katie's right hand.

"So where did he propose?" Nell asked, curious as to what Callen's alternative plan was.

"Right here."

Eyes widened as Nell smiled inwardly.

"Out on the deck. He made dinner on the Barbecue then after, as we were about to cuddle on the lounger, he brought out the ring and asked me to be his wife."

"Awes" were said in unison as congratulations were again offered until everyone received a piece of cake with most guests retreating to the backyard deck.

"So October 21 is the big day," Mike said as Katie handed him the last piece of cake and he put his _Save the Date_ card on the table.

"Summer is too hot."

He nodded as he mentioned the deliciousness of the chocolate cake with raspberry filling.

"I'm happy for you Katie."

"Thanks. It all seems surreal at times, you know?"

"Michelle would have had you at dress stores in the morning."

They both laughed at the truthfulness of his comment.

"Yes she would have."

"I know I can never replace my sister in your life but if you need any help with wedding plans, you know where I am.

"Thank you. I appreciate that."

Mike glanced at his watch, "Speaking of weddings, I need to get going. There's one at the restaurant tomorrow afternoon and I must check on the place before I go home. Great party. Now give me a hug before I say goodbye to the brave man who I am assuming has yet to play paintball with you."

"Hey …"

"Hey what? Does he know your competitiveness level soars through the roof when you don those goggles and vest?" Katie's longtime friend rubbed his chin where she had 'accidentally' shot him with a green paint ball in the jaw ten years ago.

Katie embraced the taller man in a hug before he headed out to the deck to say goodbye to Callen.

As the evening progressed, guests started to leave and just after midnight, the last guests, Kensi and Deeks, said good night and headed home. The last of the clean-up was tended to by the caterers before leaving the host and hostess alone.

"That was a great party," Katie said as she sank down on the couch, truly grateful for all that she had in her life. "Thank you for getting the caterer. It was so nice to spend time with guests and not have to tend to anything."

"You're welcome, Kates," Callen said as he joined her on the couch.

"It was nice to _finally_ meet Arkady and Ellie! Arkady sure is a charmer with his infectious laugh and sexy Russian accent. And Ellie is so sweet. She's really fond you Callen."

"Hey, what can I say, women of all ages are taken to me." He casted a slight smirk in her direction before touching her leg with his hand.

"So you do have a bit of an ego," Katie quipped. "From what I saw tonight, you have many people who care, love and like you." She had wanted to make sure their earlier conversation was finished and that Callen wasn't dwelling on his most recent 'issue'.

"I know I do but sometimes I forget that. I'm trying to undo thirty-seven years of conditioning."

Katie was about to say he just turned thirty-nine when he continued.

"The time with you is time I don't ever want to have unconditioned. And Katie?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you for not including my birthday in the events of tonight."

"You're welcome. I thought we had quite a good celebration that night and didn't think it was necessary to have another one," Katie said as she snuggled into his body.

"Yes we did and I now have a new appreciation for brownies, warm caramel sauce and whipped cream."

Katie slid her hand under his shirt and stopped at the slight dip on his chest where the sweet food was consumed by her.

His hand then slipped up under her shirt until he reached the spot between her breasts where he had placed his portion of the desserts.

"That's not where you put it," Katie said as she guided his hand to the top of her left breast.

"But I did start at this scenic valley nestled between the mountains." He was _good_ at the metaphoric seduction lines but even better at the actual seduction. "I'm thinking I would like to take you to our bedroom now."

"Are you sure you're up for that? It's late."

"You tell me if I'm up for it," he replied as he glanced downward.

And there it was. His irresistible grin that conveyed every intention his eyes and voice didn't. And she was more than willing to accept everything he had to offer her.

Alcohol was still flowing through their blood as the couple made their way to the bedroom. Undressing each other, kissing, touching and thinking about what was to come was wonderful foreplay but the main event was cancelled as Katie drifted off to sleep shortly after they laid on the bed. Callen could only smile as he pulled the duvet up over them, nestled in beside her and allowed sleep to come.

* * *

The aroma of coffee brewing woke Katie form her peaceful sleep. Her and Callen altered between tea and coffee but the morning after a night of drinking called for strong black coffee.

"Thanks," Katie said as she sat down to join Callen at the table for breakfast.

"You sleep well?" he asked.

A slight blush crept into her cheeks. "Yes. I'm sorry I fell asleep before we did anything."

"I was asleep shortly after you."

They both smiled at the comfort level they had between them when something like that happened. No anger, disappointment or animosity. Just two well rested people.

They enjoyed a light breakfast of scrambled eggs and toast with another cup of black coffee.

"Kensi said the funniest thing last night." She sipped her steaming beverage before continuing, "Our kids will be lower case G's."

Callen didn't respond.

"Lower case G's .. your first name was G …."

"I get it." His voice was 'off' as he spoke.

"We're not going to name any of our kids G," Katie said, unsure of why he didn't think it was funny. The group who heard it when Kensi first said it thought it was hilarious.

"I don't think it's a good idea for our children to have my name."

"Okay." Katie was puzzled at Callen's reaction and he had given her _many_ opportunities to practice that emotion.

Callen took Katie's lone word as meaning she was dropping the conversation.

 _Wrong_

"I'll clean up," he said as he stood and gathered the plates and cutlery from the table.

Katie snapped. "For fuck sakes Callen! What is it now? It seems anything I say triggers something in you and I know damn well Kensi's joke made you think of something from your past." She shook her head in frustration. She loved him and meant it when she said love was patient. But her patience was being tested that late Autumn morning.

"Let it go Katie." Callen busied himself with the cleanup.

"No!" she replied adamantly. "I'm aware that you have many secrets but this is something that affects me as well as you. Let's finish here then go outside with our coffees, okay?"

Callen had never thought the conversation of what their children's last name would be, would come up like this. He had visions images of him rescuing her in the nick of time moments after taking out the bad guys who had connected her to him. And used her to seek revenge on the nuisance they had come to know as Mr. Carl.

"Okay."

* * *

"I'm sorry I snapped at you in the kitchen."

"Apology accepted. I know you are frustrated Katie. I just thought that with therapy I would be getting better, you know?"

"You have a lot of stuff to deal with. A lot more that I thought possible. And to be honest, I don't think therapy will prepare you with things like what happened in the kitchen. But remember this, I'm not going anywhere. Through thick and thin, I will be by your side."

They both forced a smile before Callen started talking again.

"This is something that is extremely difficult for me to say, so please let me finish."

They had pretty much been to Hell in Kenya when their friends had been taken. Katie's worst nightmare at that point happened when she saw what Callen was capable of. And then when she thought she might die, Katie couldn't imagine anything more terrifying happening to her. Was Callen going to tell her something that would have her learning differently?


End file.
